Half a Bubble Off

Let me Re-Direct You!

2009-02-07T00:16:00.003-05:00

Click on post title for link!

I will no longer be writing on Half a Bubble Off. I have decided to stick with Smartassbian, it is where I feel most comfortable. I realize some of you won't be following me there, and I will miss you. I have been going through some very turbulent times, but I am hoping to level out soon. I plan to begin blogging again, but maintaining two blogs, is too much! Thank you all who come here, and especially those who follow me there. One Love.

Is Anybody Out There?

2008-09-01T21:53:00.008-04:00

I've been conspicuously absent for a couple months. It's summer...I've been busy, I've been lazy, I've been involved...with someone. It's hard to pin down exactly why I haven't wanted to share. I haven't felt inspired to write. I haven't felt creative in the story telling way. My heads been mashed full of jobs and feelings and then had a ton of pressure applied making a sort of thought pancake out of everything. It's not pretty. I would like to show you a little bit of what I've been doing though...

I have been trying to get the outside of this very large house painted, the rain has not let up all summer. In two and a half months we have had about 12 days so far where the house was dry enough to work on. It has been scraped 3 times now, because with each new rain more peeling occurs. It has been maddening.

I built this corner cabinet to a customers specs. Dimensions and color, slate blue with red underneath, then rubbed through in places.

And I carefully removed all the old paint, and repaired broken and missing wicker, primed and painted this set of old wicker furniture.

I'm sorry I haven't been around much to read and comment on your blogs. I expect things to slow to a normal and hopefully steady pace here soon. I hope to manage my time a little better and reconnect with everyone as fall approaches. I really do miss everyone and hope to back among you shortly.

The Thirteen Year-Old in My Life

2008-07-03T21:39:00.003-04:00

My friend Cathy has a nephew for whom she has become the legal guardian. His name is Chris, he's been in her care for about a year and a half now.

Chris and I have spent a lot of time together, we fly kites, play mini-golf, go to the driving range, shoot pool, fish, ride scooters, hike, go to the movies, have movie night at my house, play video games, drive around singing songs in the car, you get the idea. He goes away to school now, and I don't get to see him as much as I'd like. When I do, he's taller and older and it's always amazing to me how quickly he's changing and growing

The other day, I got a call from Cathy explaining she had something planned all day and into the evening, that she couldn't take him to. She told me that when she asked Chris who he'd like her to call, he requested me. She said, "He thinks you're just the coolest." I said, "Of all your friends, I am!"

I picked Chris up at 5 and we kicked around what we'd like to do for fun. He wanted to watch a movie. He'd grown, and I think his voice is starting to change. We went to the grocery store and picked up stuff to make root beer floats, and frozen pizza. While talking to Chris I noticed his speech has become so lazy and sloppy I could hardly understand him. Okay became OA, if you say it real fast. He talks in the typical droning way, with little or no inflection. He was telling me a baseball story, and when he stopped talking, I realized he'd reached the end of the story and it was my turn. Panicked I said, "And when was this?" We picked it up from there.

We hung out, made dinner, I showed him the bird nest and the babies. When the sun was setting we watched the bats circle in the back yard. He jumped up and easily touched a beam in my kitchen he used to have to take a running start to try to touch. We made our root beer floats and watched his requested movie, Semi-Pro with Will Farrell which was funny in that Will Farrell way, but the content was a tad mature for a thirteen year old at points. Chris did his level best to not make me feel uncomfortable about that. He's a good boy. When we said goodbye he wanted his hug as always, and I picked him up off the ground when I hugged him, as always. "I can still pick you up. " I declared, and smiled, wondering how much longer that will be possible.

Identity Established...More Baby Footage

2008-06-29T14:39:00.006-04:00

I have determined these are definitely robins. I got a good look at mom when I made this video. You can see them expecting her any minute, they must hear her calling, but the fact that I was there may have prevented her from delivering the food, so I left pretty quickly. I also placed a thick soft dog bed below the nest so if one should fall out, it doesn't land on my hard rocky driveway below.

A Tribute to George

2008-06-27T15:06:00.005-04:00

George Carlin has been a favorite of mine for as long as I have been able to stand still long enough to watch stand up, and before, when people bought comedy LPs and George did the "Hippy Dippy Weather Man". I have always enjoyed his unique insights and word play. There is a lot of stuff flying around on the Internet now that he has passed. I chose this one, short and sweet to post here in tribute to a life well lived. Somewhere there is a dealer with way too much pot on his hands.

George Carlin's Views on Aging :

Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life. . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Ooooh the babies...

2008-06-25T13:08:00.003-04:00

I have no idea what kind of birds these are. I see the mom fly away every time I come home, or in or out the door. This nest is just below my deck floor, I couldn't see in, but the camera could. That's how I found out there are four babies in there! Wow. I hope to identify these little guys eventually.

Backyard Birds In Grainy Glory (Three Reds)

2008-06-24T20:39:00.013-04:00

Male Cardinal

I took these pictures of birds through the windows in the kitchen, dirty windows, one with a screen on it, so it's really bad. I don't have the patience that Bird Anonymous has to go out and sit there until the birds decide I'm not a threat and start coming around despite my presence, and I'm not sure the cardinal ever would. They are very nervous, so here they are. If you don't enjoy them, take your own damn pics!

Robin Red Breast

Rose Breasted Gross Beak

The Frizz Index

2008-06-15T21:00:00.003-04:00

Click on the Frizz Warning Chart to open in a seperate window and enlarge. I did not make this up folks, I found it on a weather page, it's for real. WTF! It is important to know if you're going to have a bad hair day! Maybe it will help you decide whether to wear a hat or not! On a day when there's an amber alert for a missing child, an orange alert for terrorism, and a red alert for frizz, shouldn't you just call it in, and stay home?

Gopher Dad

2008-06-08T09:29:00.004-04:00

Yesterday morning I went to my parent's house to remove the cabinets from their old kitchen. A friend wanted them for her house, so they had to be taken out carefully, so as not to damage them. Usually a sawzall and a sledge hammer would make short work of this project, but this was all putty knives, screwdrivers and wonder bars. It was a bit like a puzzle, once you take out the obvious support, you have to find the hidden support, and then realize you need to get that out to get to this, but before that can come out that other thing needs come off, and you can't get that off without removing those...pretty soon the entire house has been disassembled and is stacked in piles with nails sticking out everywhere, and the f---ing cabinets are still hanging there laughing at you.

I had four hours to donate before I had to run off to another commitment, so I was all business, HA! When I arrived my Dad was already entrenched and frustrated.

"Can you tell how those cabinets are still up?" He asked, indicating some uppers he had removed all visible screws from. I looked up and said...it's the soffit, the soffit was painted but it was wood and came down over the cabinet face and was nailed in about a hundred times. I began to pull it apart, but it was behind the crown on the door molding, hmmm, this is behind that! I found myself up on a ladder requesting this tool, then that, sweating and swearing, and Dad was scrambling to get me what I needed when he looked at me and said, "The tables have turned haven't they?"

We worked and worked on the hottest stickiest day so far this year and after removing the soffit from all around the cabinets discovered many dead and long dead, and long long dead mice up there. The odor was about as foul as it gets. Mom was grossed out, but relieved that she hadn't been imagining the terrible smell she couldn't seem to get out of the cabinets no matter what she washed them with. She'd even hung one of those pine tree car fresheners in there.

We had lunch and talked about social injustices, a high school student who was suspended for saying her teacher was a scumbag, in an email to some rat-fink friend of hers. Another girl who was suspended for taking control of the school bus when the driver passed out behind the wheel and safely pulling it over and stopping, because she was not a licensed driver. Then the woman who is taking the cabinets home with her, brought up a high school senior who was in jail for sexually abusing his dog, and posting video of it on the Internet. I didn't quite see the injustice there, but she claimed it was that he would be unable to graduate with his class. I couldn't help breaking out into a chorus of: "And they called it...puppy love". Then I went home and spent about an hour trying to get the smell of decaying mouse off me which seemed to be not unlike an odor tattoo.

It's About Frickin Time!

2008-05-19T14:14:00.006-04:00

Many of you have noticed that I have been MIA for about three weeks. If you suspected that I was sick and had to go the hospital, or that I have met someone who is a wonderful distraction, and is occupying much of my previously allocated blog-time, you'd be correct.

I would like to thank everyone who commented or emailed me expressing concern for well-being, and wonderment as to my where-abouts. I have been remiss in reading all of your posts, and in writing any of my own. I do hope to rectify this, slowly but surely.

Work is extremely busy right now. I have three fairly big projects going on right now, with a couple little ones jammed in there for good measure. I have a lovely young woman, smart and pretty, who seems to find me irresistible vying for my attention, and the blog has suffered immensely, and I miss you all!

It seems the longer you spend not writing your blog, the more intimidating the virtual sheet of blank paper in front of you becomes. I began to think that just opening up the "new post" screen, would cause it to somehow grab me by the ear, and throw me out in the hallway, while I tried desperately to think of something innocent to tell the principal when he walked by and asked what I was doing out here. Not that I would know what that feels like...but I digress. I have spent some time thinking about what to write about and decided that a simple update will have to do to get the blog-ball rolling again.

Golf started. I play in a women's league once a week, with my golf partner, Lily. This is our third season as a team. We are in a crappy division, but we have won our division the past two years. I like to say that we are the best of the worst, or at the top of the bottom pile...anyway, we are only there to have fun, and we do. Lily is a warm and thoughtful person with a sharp wit, and a positive attitude. She's every one's cheerleader, and she's especially good at keeping me even, and calm without ever saying the dreaded phrase..."calm down". We laugh a lot, and see blue birds and orioles, and hawks, and woodchucks, and bunnies on the course. It's a real treat.

About ten days ago I got very sick. It was late Wednesday night. There was sweating and nausea, and blood. I was scared, but I'm self-employed and don't have medical insurance, so I tried to wait it out...by Friday morning my mother informed me she was coming to get me and take me to the hospital. I did not want to go. I have an unreasonable fear of hospital, and all things medical, but couldn't argue. I was in too much pain, and I knew I needed to go. I was admitted Friday, and released on Sunday, Mother's Day. It was quite an experience which I will go into detail about on my other blog.

I have been enjoying the weather. I planted my herb garden, my tomatoes, and filled my planter and my flower pots on the deck with beautiful flowers. The hummers are here, and I managed to snag a photo of one while standing in my kitchen. I am feeling optimistic, obviously I haven't received the bill from the hospital yet. I am busy and should be able to get caught up with finances which will be a huge relief. Now if only I get the price of gas to go down instead of up up up!

Mom's Kitchen!

2008-04-29T11:44:00.011-04:00

After much much hard work, and sweat and tears, lots of lots of tears, I have finally taken a preliminary after picture of Mom's Kitchen! I have been working on this project since January. It has been ever changing and expanding in scope, but now the is the only a pot rack over the island, some electrical, and the tile back splash left to go. The tile is picked out, but not ordered yet. I did everything but the counter-tops, the electrical and the plumbing.

These are the before pictures when it was a sun-room. One from each end of the room. The doorway is off the dining room. I had to tear out the bathroom and closet at the end of the room, pull up the floor, pull down the ceiling, and build a wall over the brick wall to accommodate plumbing, electrical, and cabinet hanging. The doorway to the dining room was closed down about six inches on each side to make enough space for the hutch Mom wanted to put to the left of the doorway.

After gutting it, and pulling down the ceiling which was the most heinous phase, I added insulation, leveled the ceiling, and ran the duct out for the range hood. I also blacked out the window on the end wall. Next came framing in the wall over the brick wall, then sheet rock.

After sheet rock came painting, then the new hard wood floor. Then cabinets, crown molding, other moldings, modifying and assembling the island, and trimming out the doorway. Ta-dah!

The blurr is mom running through the kitchen trying to pick things up when she sees me with a camera in my hand!

It's Official

2008-04-25T07:23:00.004-04:00

Fiddleheads from my backyard!

Spring is here everyone. I'm pretty sure I won't be getting anymore snow for a while! If I have left any doubt in your mind how I feel about this, I'm p.f. happy!

I am having a house guest, so this has led to a major spring cleaning crunch. My ex and still very good friend, is coming to visit me from California. The weather has been fantastic, for the last two weeks, like summer almost! In the seventies, close to eighties, sunny. It's exactly this kind of thing that brain washes all New Englanders into staying here, and living through yet another cursed winter! Even I have almost forgotten how dismal it all seemed just last month.

I planned all kinds of activities for us, like cycling, kayaking, hiking...etc. so of course it's going to drop to the 50's and rain all weekend! Good ol' New England. Unpredictable my ass! It's a sure bet when someone from a beautiful climate comes to visit, they will leave questioning your sanity for living here.

I spent the day yesterday cleaning up all the leaves and branches and crap off my lawn, and mowed it. Not that it's really grown that much, but it does in spots, plus the mower does a great job of sucking up and mulching the leaves. It was a pretty gruesome task. The leaves were all dry and the mower made a huge dust cloud for me to walk around in and breathe in as I mowed. But wait, there's more...the little black flies are out. They buzzed around my face and head the entire time, in my ears, in my eyes, pinging off my forehead, and my personal favorite, up my nose when I inhaled. I swear those little flies would make me crazy if I had to endure them for very long. It would be a very effective torture method. It was almost enough to make me wish for snow again. Almost!

Chronic complainer! One more from the bitch, bitch, bitch series...

A New Post!

2008-04-13T20:28:00.008-04:00

This post should be read to the tune of "I Want a New Drug" by Huey Lewis and The News, or he'll scratch your eyes out!

I need a new post

One that won't be too long

One that makes people laugh out loud

Or that reads as if it's a song

I need a new post

One that knows when to quit

One that won't take up all your time

Or that showcases my sharp wit

One where I can say thank you

For awards I've won

Thanks to Ces and Anony for thinking of me

For Creativity

I need a new post

One to pass it along

One to drop some blogger's names

Or 'cause the last one's been up too long

I need a new post

One for having some fun

One that pays off all my bills

Or lets me lay out in the sun

Oh...I'm tired don't make me do the last one. Well, now you'll have that song stuck in your head not only for the rest of the day, but every time you think about how you need a new post! Ha! Gotcha! You may have ascertained from my brilliant lyrics, that I have been given an award. One award from two awesome bloggers!

It is a Pico award, in the name of spirit, fun and laughter. I would like to present this award to three men who never fail to make me laugh, with their blogs and their comments, Jonah of Gefilte Fish Blues, perhaps the funniest, and most polished writer I've read in blog-land thus far. Ben of No Ordinary Roller Coaster, who hits the mark every time humor is his goal, and last but not least, a guy who's only in it for the laughs, Ve of Ve's Fantastical Nonsense. Congratulations guys, and thanks for all the laughs!

Random Thoughts While Stripping

2008-04-08T21:35:00.004-04:00

I am working on a refinishing project right now that needs to be completed by the weekend. I am still doing the stripping which is bad, because It takes time for stain and subsequent coats of polyurethane to dry. Be that as it may, this is where I am, and what I should be doing right now instead of writing this! But, my birthday is over and I couldn't leave that tired old post up for days on end, so onward and upward, then downstairs to continue with the stripping. I never knew stripping could be so tiring, and it doesn't pay as well as one would think either, of course, I'm not done yet!

Today was a beautiful spring day. I spent a little time outside breaking up and disbursing a large snow bank on the side of my house that doesn't get a lot of sun, so it'll melt. The large pile was caused by all of the snow that slid off that half of the roof all winter long, and that was a LOT of snow.

The goldfinches are starting to brighten for their mating season and things that should be green are starting to become green. I love to see my surroundings coming back to life, it makes me happy, and it makes me want to clean, even though no company is coming! I KNOW!!!!

Yesterday, for my birthday row, I rowed a personal best for 16,000 meters. I guess I needed to prove that being one year older wouldn't slow me down. It sped me up!

Thursday it's supposed to be sunny and 67 degrees. I'll be taking the convertible for a spin, maybe to the driving range to hit some balls for the first time this year! That is making me smile already!

On that note, I need to get back to it. I hope you all are letting some good energy flow through your lives as well.

Already?!!!

2008-04-06T22:48:00.003-04:00

-April 7th. It's my birthday and I'll die if I want to, die if I want to, die if I want to...fortunately, I don't. In fact, I think I'd like to delay that as where's my martini? long as possible. I'm not going to get all depressed just because I keep getting older each year, and don't even look like myself in the where's my fucking martini?! mirror anymore. Everyday of life is a gift. I welcome all the signs I had it two minutes ago of aging with open arms, for I am becoming wiser and more evolved with each day. I know that I am still as vital and coherant as that's it...the writing stops until I find my God damned birthday martini, the last place I remember having it was in the kitchen, when I went in there for the Estrovin, then I wanted another twist, so I opened the fridge, and...oh, there it is behind the prune juice, now where was I?

Make Me Shudder

2008-04-04T22:28:00.004-04:00

This opening is 7' x 5' It's quite large! This opening is at the top of a vaulted ceiling through to an office area upstairs. On the second floor it is at window height. My customer was losing all of her heat to the upper level and wanted a way to close it off during the winter.

Finally, Shutters. I took on this project and what I thought would take weeks, turned into months. I just got home from saying goodbye to these suckers!

In theory, and on paper these seemed simple and straight forward. I listened to what the customer wanted, drew up a design, gave her a quote, took a partial advance and bought wood. Off to the races. I planned to build them at night and on weekends, I was doing a kitchen remodel during the day, which also was intruding on my weekends. Snow slowed me down a lot too. The fact that I had to spend a good deal of time clearing it, getting sand, etc.

The first thing that happened was my router bit was causing considerable tear-out. Some pieces were unusable, others had to be patched. They all had to be sanded, because my joints didn't come out perfectly flush.

I was putting in some brutal, physically exhausting days on the kitchen and just couldn't make myself go back to work after dinner. When I finally got them together, I went over to check the fit before painting them. Three times I planned to go for the fitting, and three times it snowed. I finally made it over there and they needed to be cut down. I did that and then primed them. Once I started painting them I noticed some seems were still noticeable, so I sanded them down again. I had promised to deliver brushed nickel hardware, and finding hinges in that finish that would support the weight of the panels and fit a 3/4'' door proved to be much more of a challenge than I had anticipated. I found some I thought would work ordered them, and a couple knobs, and when they arrived, too small. I thought the width measurement was one side of the hinge, but it was the width of the hinge open, so they would be great for a jewelry box, but not big heavy shutters! I had to call and reschedule while I waited for the correct hardware to arrive.

I also ordered a hinge mortising template kit, that the salesman at the local woodworker's supply, assured me would work for cabinet hinges as well as door hinges. I had 24 mortises to do, so I didn't want to screw around with the hammer and chisel. It arrived the day before I had rescheduled to go over there, and it did not accommodate small hinges at all, only full door hinges!

I had too much hand mortising to do, to make the appointment, so I called to reschedule it again. It got to be like a sick joke, and I had a mini-panic attack when I knew I'd have to make the call.

The afternoon I was supposed to go, my customer called me and asked me if I would mind pushing it off another night or two, she had romantic dinner plans. No problem, I went the next night. When I got there I framed the opening, didn't have my nail gun because it is still at the other job site, so I hand nailed and set the nails, not hard, just slower. I put the first shutter in place and one side fit but the other side was too tall. The ceiling sloped down in the middle of the opening. I hadn't noticed it. I mitered the door stop strips and painted them. Filled the nail holes, sanded them, and painted the frame. Threw the shutters back in the truck to take them home and cut them down some more.

Today, I cut down the shutters, and was loading them back in the truck, I thought about the knobs. I bought normal cabinet knobs. They'd have to be on the upstairs side of the shutters and the stupid screw head would be visible from the living room. Wrongo! I thought of the wooden knobs with screws attached. If I could find those nothing would show in the living room. I couldn't find those, so I decided to buy 4 different knobs, and some #8 threaded rod, cut it to size, and have a knob on both sides. I went to the hardware store and bought the stuff. Then back to the customer's house.

The next issue was the hardware itself. I bought very expensive high quality hinges, because the shutters are heavy and I wanted smooth movement. The screws that came with these hinges were just as cheap and shoddy as a Yugo full of fifty-year-old hookers. They were slotted, and they were small. I had my mult-tip screwdriver, but when I switched to the number 1 flat-tip, it was broken. I had a small tweeker, I tried using that, but I couldn't get any torque so I had to leave, and go to a nearby lumberyard, that had some tools in the store. I found a set of four with the right size flat-tip and bought it. That helped a lot. However some of the screws were unusable. The slot wasn't deep enough to hold the screwdriver. Half the head just broke clean off one of them and three broke off flush halfway in the hole making it impossible for me to put another screw in that spot. Two of the screws were actually glued together and I couldn't get them apart. What a pain in the ass. Also, it was a struggle getting the doors hinged because I was by myself, the doors were large and heavy and I only have two hands.

Once I managed to get them all hung, I installed the door stop strips and as the customer left to go out to dinner, I had only to install the knobs, do some touch up painting, and caulk. I cut the threaded rod to length, marked the knob hole locations, picked up the drill and the battery died. I'd have to go home and get the other battery. By this time, I was starving and tired. I drove home, let the dogs out, fed them, grabbed my battery and bolted back to the house. I finally finished, cleaned up, loaded my truck, and the customer arrived back home, surprised to find me still there, but very happy with the end result, which somehow makes it all worth it. I went to take the picture, and my camera said to replace the batteries, typical.

Time Goes By, So...

2008-03-30T23:26:00.004-04:00

Well, it depends. Time can fly, and it seems to go faster each year as I get older. My theory on this is, that the less of a percentage a year is in your life, the quicker it goes by. Think about it, and get back to me. Anyway, when I'm waiting for something...time drags. It is slower than molasses in the wintertime. When I have a ton of stuff to do, if goes by faster than a barefoot rabbit on greased griddle in the middle of August!

Right now, I find myself in the unique position of having a pant-load of things to finish by a quickly approaching deadline, while at the same time, corresponding with someone new and exciting that may become a headliner in what has become the tragic story of my life. Now, in some incredibly bazaar way, time seems to be crawling and flying at the same time. Impossible you say! People said time travel was impossible, and look at us now! Okay, bad example, but seriously...How many times have you been in the shower, and completely lost track of time? You just have no idea whether you've been in there ten minutes, or thirty five. That's when it happens, time is added or taken away depending upon the opposite of whether you need more or less. The French thought they had solved this problem by simply cutting showers, and baths out of their daily, or weekly routines, but it didn't help, it just made them foul smelling. The truth is anytime you experience this "lost track of time" feeling, is when the adjustments are being made. In my case time is being added and taken away because I'm both waiting for something, and up against it, to complete some projects.

Studies have shown that 75% of all water related activities are time altering. A watched pot never boils, never...experts agree that that is dramatically slower than normal.

Time, or the passing of it, has also been linked to aging in three separate university double blind studies. This study was conducted by the blind, because no one really wants to see the effects of aging, and they also wore blind-folds to ensure that any sudden regaining of their eyesight would not influence the results. This is the most reliable way to collect data. The findings have been conclusive, time is a relentless son of a bitch, and you shouldn't be wasting reading drivel like this!

Is this actually true? Only time will tell.

Actual Things...

2008-03-27T22:07:00.012-04:00

Something Odd: I used the word unbefreakinglievable in an email today, and spellcheck didn't bat an eye!

However if you get a tattoo, make sure your tattoo artist uses spellcheck, or people may get the wrong idea.

Something Depressing:

I read in the paper yesterday, that an elderly man in a retirement home was stabbed to death as a result of a dispute over a loaf of white bread.

Something Silly:

I had no idea how much work went into seedless watermelons!

Something True:

I really enjoy blogging, sometimes too much, and I know the reason for this is all the bloggers who visit my blog regularly, and who I like to visit as well. My life is richer becasue of it.

Wieneke would be here if she had an avatar!

Being Grateful

2008-03-24T23:13:00.004-04:00

mom

One of my closest friends lost her father on the day before Easter. This seems to be happening more and more around me. I am at the age where time with my parents has become something I am grateful for. I still have mine, this set at least. My father died when I was thirteen, but the new one mom picked out has weathered the storms of our adolescence, getting licenses, borrowing the car, going away to college, bringing home women...well, I did, my brother...not so much, and then some.

My mom still won't tell me who my mother was before her. She insists she's the only mother I've ever had, but I'm not completely convinced yet.

I was away from my family for twenty five years. I visited of course, but didn't live nearby. Seeing them only a few times a year was good in ways, and probably best at times, but now I'm here, and I see them several times a week. At the moment I'm remodeling (building a kitchen in a room that was the sun porch a few months ago) her kitchen, so I see her almost everyday. I love my mom, but there is a limit to how many heaping helpings of mom I can take in given time period. We are exceeding that currently.

The news of this recent death, brings into sharp focus the fact that I should be enjoying this time with my mother, and this project we are doing together. We are making the memories I will be keeping with me when she has gone. Sometimes we need to get a dose of the bad, to realize we are actually in the good part.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail...

2008-03-22T10:03:00.003-04:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The Easter Bunny!

My life in 6 words

2008-03-20T19:25:00.005-04:00

I have been tagged by Citizen of the World to describe my life in six words. This is a tough one for me, I've lived in more than six different states. But when I get tagged, I respond to the challenge.

Come to think of it, I love a challenge, and that is how I've lived my life. I have never let my gender limit my career choices. I can't say I have never been afraid to go for it, but I will say I have never let fear stop me from going for it.

I have made some bad decisions, but at least I don't have to regret not trying.

When I know what I want, I fight for it, it's being clear on what I want that seems to be the difficult part.

Anyway, sweetened and condensed, these six words sum it all up, probably:

Reaching, risking, growing, following my heart.

I'm not going to tag anyone, that would be mean, but I'd like to hear how kj and heartinsanfrancisco would sum themselves up. If you choose not to do accept this tag, that's okay, I will happily choose 6 words for you myself, just kidding. I know this one will be fun for you. Run along and get to work.

Dad Goes To Bat

2008-03-19T00:01:00.006-04:00

photo from raisingeli.com

My stepfather married my mother when I was eleven. He's been a part of our family for over thirty years now, and I call him Dad.

When I was entering my freshman year in high school, I was hit squarely in the face by a gender injustice, the first one since I'd wanted to play little league baseball. It seems that when everyone chose their electives for that year, a lot more students chose to take Industrial Arts than Home Economics. Well, the school decided since they couldn't give everyone what they'd asked for, they'd just assign the boys to I.A. and the girls to Home Ec. I was furious. I went home that day and told my parents what had happened.

The next day my dad was in the principals office. He said, "Why on earth would you put the boys in IA and the girls in Home Ec.?" The principal explained that that was the way things used to be, so they decided to just do that again to solve the over crowding issue.

dad: "If you have too many students in an English class what do you do?" "Throw out the girls?"

principal: "Well, that's not the same thing."

dad: "What's different about it?"

principal: "Boy's are more naturally inclined to IA, and girls to Home Ec."

dad: "Oh really. My daughter shingled the entire roof of our house last summer, by herself, cedar shakes on a gambrel roof! Show me one boy more qualified to take that class."

After dad's visit, they changed the resolution. Now every student had to take half a year of each class. Go dad!

Recently he said something else that made me really proud. He said his receptionist had advertised for a roommate because the price of heating oil was killing her.

Suzanne: I found a roommate!

dad: that's great, how much are you getting?

Suzanne: I'm getting $525.00

dad: Do you think that's enough?

Suzanne: Oh yeah, it's fine. I might have a problem though?

dad: What's that?

Suzanne: I think she's gay.

dad: Well.. Are you gay?

Suzanne: No

dad: Then you've got nothing to worry about.

That's my dad. He rocks!

It's Your Lucky Day!

2008-03-17T09:22:00.007-04:00

It's a beautiful sunny morning here, or "top o the mornin tooya". I know that's the wrong "to" but it's better phonetically. Why are you worried about my grammar anyway? It's St. Patrick's Day. Go do something green! I have some Irish in me, about 15%. I find most people do, especially on St. Patrick's Day! The Irish are a busy lot! What percentage are you?

Meme Challenge Issued & Answered

2008-03-13T19:55:00.020-04:00

"I dare you to be as ridiculous" from VE.

*******************************Disclaimer***********************************

This meme is answered in a completely fictional manner in order to meet the challenge issued forth by VE. Please do not write angry letters or comments about how mean it is to sabotage a diet, or cruelty to hunters etc.

Warning: Reading the following post may lower your opinion of me if there is any room for movement in that direction.

All Fours

Four Guilty Pleasures-

I like to catch mice in those glue traps, then use solvent to free three of their feet, and tickle them until they promise to stay outside.

I like to hide in the bushes with a semi-automatic rifle during deer season and when they shoot at a deer, I return fire. It makes it more like a sport.

I like to stop at toll booths and pay by check, which takes a couple hours, just to see how big a back-up I can cause, leaving my left turn signal on the entire time of course.

When someone at work says they're on a diet, I like to show up with a couple dozen warm Krispy Kreme Doughnuts the next day.

Four Favorite Foods

Tofurky Jerky,

Brussel sprout cheesecake,

Pickled banana chips,

Jalapeno mint jelly and goat cheese pizza.

Four things that make me smile

When I try to make my ears move,

when I'm brushing my top teeth,

When I practice my reaction to winning the lottery

When I can successfully string together the nine-word-sequence for my favorite coffee drink at Starbucks without taking a breath in the middle.

Four Artists I’m listening to Right Now-

Anytime I try to listen to four different things at the same time, it always turns out the same way; with me trying to figure out the child safety cap on my Advil bottle.

*********************************************************************************

Random Questions:

How would you describe yourself?

Honestly deceptive, forward thinking historian, with a stand-offish approachability. Attractively plain, passionately even tempered, skeptically optimistic, interesting, vanilla, woman who's energetic about taking naps. My stubborn flexibility, and logically emotional reasoning powers make me singularly popular.

What is your life’s purpose?

To completely eliminate and get rid of redundancy. I will establish the Department of Redundancy Department, and begin to issue fines, give tickets, charge people money for, saying or doing, any action or words that would be considered redundant, and if they do it again, that's twice the fine, doubling the amount.

What do your friends think of you?

What are these...friends, you speak of?

What do you think about very often?

Why I keep forgetting to take the pill that's supposed to improve my memory.

What is your wedding day going to be like?

Lots of shocked people wandering around, most of all, me!

What is your life story?

My life story is "I'm Okay, You're Okay" It's a self-help book. My motto is if you need help, help yourself!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kept. I would like to fritter away my time on the computer...while someone else worries about responsibilities, and obligations. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, I don't wish to grow up.

What will they play at your funeral?

"My Way" by Sinatra

And now, the end is near, And so I face the final curtain. My friends, I'll say it clear; I'll state my case of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full - I've travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Regrets? I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do And saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course - Each careful step along the byway, And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, When I bit off more than I could chew, But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall And did it my way. I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill - my share of losing. But now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that, And may I say, not in a shy way - Oh no. Oh no, not me. I did it my way. For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself - Then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows And did it my way. Yes, it was my way.

What is your hobby/interest?

Mostly, I enjoy letting my dogs in and out of the house. They have worked out a system that insures them the highest allotment of cookies possible. It goes something like this. One dog asks to go outside, the other insists he does not need to go out right now, and he'd better stay in the house with me, it's for my own safety of course. I let the dog in, give them both cookies, and about 5-10 minutes later, the second dog, now has to go outside. You see how they have outsmarted me? I spend more time enjoying this activity then anything else really.

I also love shopping for brightly colored pot-holders on EBay, and plan to make a cozy for my house out of them, once I have enough.

Thank you for tolerating my meme. If you should choose to tag yourself with either of these, please let me know. I apologize for any permanent damage caused here today.

The Best of the Worst!

2008-03-09T19:41:00.005-04:00

Here's a little poll for you. Assuming you MUST pick one of the choices, please do your best, I didn't make it easy!

Ah, but I made you picture them all didn't I? Sorry about that!

Not Right Now, I'm busy?

2008-03-07T09:15:00.003-05:00

I have thought about posting, really. I just can't squeeze anything out of my jam-packed head right now. The break down is something like this. Once I free up a few cells, I'll be back!

If You Are What You Eat, I'm Glue!

2008-03-02T10:20:00.005-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time out in my workshop lately. I love that. It's one of my favorite places to be, although yesterday,

*Digression Alert!*

for some unknown reason my Bose sound-dock stopped working, so no music. Booo! Coincidentally yesterday the ipod in my truck stopped working too. I have one I just leave in the truck. It stays in the glove box and it's wired into the stereo. I use my other ipod for out in the workshop, when I'm rowing, or painting or shoveling, or any other activity that's more fun with music. Anyhoo, just two days ago, my house phone, a Panasonic wireless, I just bought a year ago stopped working too! I've got my fingers crossed that the hot water heater, or furnace, or washing machine, or truck don't decide to jump on the bandwagon.

Anyway, as I was saying I've been working on building some stuff. I have several projects in various stages of completion out there. I was putting together some large raised panel shutters and typically what I do, is take all the pieces and assemble it first with no glue, just to make sure it all fits and is going to work. I get all the clamps I'm going to need, a rubber mallet, the glue, a brush, some water and a rag. Once you apply the glue you have to move at a pretty good clip to get it all together and clamped up. The really big gangley pieces with lots of parts that all have to be glued at the same time, can be challenging, especially for one person. I was dipping the brush into the glue bottle and spreading it on all the edges that needed glue, and when it came time to put it together again, I was having trouble. I needed to put the brush down and free up my hand, but there was nowhere to put it, so I put in my mouth. Not the end with the glue, but the middle of the brush handle, like when you put a rose in your teeth. You know how you like to do that. Well, I had been dipping that brush so far into the glue bottle that the part of the handle now in my mouth was covered with glue! That'll keep my big mouth shut! But I can still type.

That was nasty. I was never one of those paste-eaters in elementary school, and I know now that I wasn't missing anything. The funny part is I really had to get the dumb thing clamped up. I spit the brush out on the floor, but my mouth felt full of glue and it seemed like it was bonding to my teeth. It was really disturbing. Once I got the thing clamped I rinsed out my mouth and there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage, but I don't recommend it just the same.

The shutters came out great, the customer was very happy with them, as was I. I'll take a picture once I install them. She's painting them herself to save a little money, then I'll go back to hang them for her.

After leaving her, I went to another job I'm working on and hung some sheet rock. I also did quite a bit of housework today. I feel pretty productive all in all, but I have been working all day, and never got to do any rowing. I don't like that, but I'll be on it in the morning. I think the slightly warmer weather, along with the sunny day, has really given my energy a boost. It feels good.

Ch ch changes...

2008-02-28T21:42:00.007-05:00

I have received this notice to cease and desist blogging about snow, and my frickin driveway, so NO MORE! I know you guys want to hear a new set of complaints, and more whining week after week but I'm sorry! I just can't do it anymore. You'll be fine, I'll find other ways to keep you entertained.

For instance, I've been doing a lot of driving lately and the potholes are absolutely everywhere. It's all you can do to miss them and invariably when there's a completely horrific stretch of them, there's also an oncoming vehicle that forces you to go over them instead of around them. I mean how is it possible that you could drive along for 10 minutes without another car in sight, but somehow one appears just as you reach pot-hole-polusa!

It's just like when you're trapped behind someone who apparently doesn't have anywhere to be at any specific time, and is just out sightseeing, and enjoying the fresh air, while you are late for an important appointment. As you go through the center of small towns and wind around on curvy roads, not another car in sight, besides the forty backed up behind you that is, but as soon as a straightaway arrives, and some passing lines, cars and trucks the whole way, it baffles me.

I love the guy that pulls up next to me at a light, and drives like a bat out of hell to get in front of me when the light turns, only to hold me and everyone else up two blocks later when he wants to make a left turn.

I'm also very fond of the people who, even though they drive a Chevy Speck, just can't seem to handle the turning radius of a left turn and have to swing wide right to manage it. Things like this should be on the driving test. That idiotic little move should be an automatic failure, that and the inability to merge. Some people just don't get it! If you are going 50 or 55 on the entrance ramp, it is much easier to fit seamlessly into traffic, then if you are going 15 or 10, or 6, or 2, or stop completely to wait until there are no cars as far as the eye can see! Why people, Why?

In Massachusetts I've noticed that stop signs are merely suggestions. People here roll right through them like they're all yields. It's crazy! I suppose if they got stopped, they'd say "I slowed down." Which reminds me of a joke.

It seems this guy from Massachusetts goes to California, and rents a car. While he there, he gets pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. When this is explained to him by the officer, he whines, "But officer, I slowed down."

The officer pulls him out of the car, throws him down and begins brutally wailing on him with his knight-stick. The man cries out, begging him to stop, but the beating continues, the man pleads for him to stop, and the officer says, "But I slowed down."

Oh Good! More Snow!

2008-02-26T15:27:00.003-05:00

When I was a kid I loved snow! I did always have circulation issues, so my hands would get cold fast and hurt a lot, but I didn't care, I wanted to be out there building snow men, sledding, making snow angels, having snow ball fights, building forts, even shoveling was kind of fun for me. Well...people change. I do think snow is pretty, but seeing it in a photo, or painting is fine. I don't really need to experience it anymore.

The thrill is gone.

After a week of being stuck and unable to make any money, I had to quit working at half a day today and rush home before it was too late to make it up my driveway. I also lost Friday, and half the day Saturday. This just isn't fun for me anymore.

I am stuck with this house for a while since I purchased it at the top of the market, unless of course I fail to pay the mortgage because I can't earn an income sitting on my ass in the living room, but that will cost me my business as well, and I'm afraid that will cost me my lust for life and send me spiraling into deep despair. See what a snow storm brings now? Doom and gloom, it almost literally makes me sick. I am definitely in a funk.

10 Things that could pull me out of it:

A suitcase full of money, so I can take the winter off and travel somewhere tropical.

A gorgeous woman who knows just what to say or do to lift my spirits, and who is sharing the financial burden of home ownership.

If Spring arrives later this week.

If next time I plow, I chip out a rock, and a geyser of oil erupts from the hole.

If HGTV hears I am the perfect cross between Bob Vila and Martha Stewart and they offer me my own show, where I remodel the kitchen and then cook a gourmet meal in it.

If they decide to hold the next winter Olympics on my driveway, and pay me handsomely to secure it.
If snow suddenly becomes the most valuable substance on earth and people will pay any price if I let them take it away.
A time machine that I could use to go back to the time when I loved snow, or just back to before I decided to leave California, either one!
A machine that can turn snow into diamonds.
Oprah Winfrey decides to make my small business success one of her causes, and funds my relocation, helps me network among the rich and famous. It becomes trendy to have an original piece of my furniture in your home.

Alright, maybe that last one is a longshot, but the rest of them could...well maybe not 4 or 7. What are you trying to do? Depress me? Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Small Wonders

2008-02-21T16:43:00.009-05:00

What have I done with my new found freedom you wonder? I spent a day working on the kitchen project on Tuesday, getting everything ready for sheet-rock. Yesterday I stayed home to work on a project I fell behind on while snowed in. I'm building some solid raised panel shutters for delivery on Saturday.

I had to run some errands, do some shopping, and I was going out to dinner last night and was low on cash, so I raided my piggy bank and watched in amazement as the coin-star machine counted it all up and spit out a voucher for $146.00. Woohoo!

Later I met up with 4 of the women I golf with, we hadn't seen each other for several months, so we had plenty to catch up on. I parked illegally, I almost have to, my truck with the plow on it is about 30 feet long. You try it! We had a great time laughing and causing a ruckus. I had the blackened Mahi Mahi over a black bean and sweet corn ragout and split it with one of the others, who'd ordered the butternut squash ravioli. Mmmmm. The waitress wondered if we all worked together, and when we told her we golfed together she thought that was hilarious. "You guys just can't wait, huh?" she asked, and was met with an enthusiastic, "NO" from everyone. When we left, my truck was right where I had left it, no ticket. YeeHa!

When I got home my Mom called me and told me to look at the moon. "I know, it's a full moon tonight, it's beautiful" I said. "No, go look at it now, it's almost fully eclipsed!" she replied. Sure enough, I had a great view of it, and tried to take couple pictures but didn't set up a tripod, so they aren't very clear. There are branches between where I stood and the moon too, but no ambient light to speak of, so they could be worse. Cool!

Today, I was having my morning coffee when I heard a thud. I know this sound, it's a bird hitting the window on the front of my house. I have lots of glass, and I hear this sound way too often. I looked out and saw a little nut-hatch laying on the deck in a face plant. I went out and picked it up. It was alive, but sometimes they break their necks and it takes a while for them to die. He was pretty stunned. I brought him into the house to keep him warm, and just held him for a while. He seemed to be getting a little livelier, so I put him down on the back step in the sun, he clung to my fingers as I tried to place him there, and then I just watched him. At first he had one eye closed and wouldn't open it, I hoped he hadn't been blinded in one eye, but couldn't tell. Then he started looking around slowly, his neck wasn't broken, but could he fly? It took about 10 minutes, but he became alert and started moving around on his feet, he opened his eye. His movements became quicker and then it happened. He flew to the pine tree by the feeder. I was very relieved. Yipee!

And the last wonder, Heartinsanfrancisco has given me an award! Best Blogging Buddies Award.

SWEET! I love this adorable little award, and I will display it with great pride because of the respect and admiration I have for the blogger who gave it to me, and no, I did not send her any money!

I would like to present this award to a couple of new bloggers in my community who I felt a quick and easy connection with. Slip from Accidental Farmer who visits me regularly, is a kindred spirit, and usually has something witty and interesting to say. Roro from Creampuff Revolution who is not only hysterically funny and bright, but also friendly and helpful! And last but not least, VE from VE's Fantastical Nonsense who is groundbreakingly nonsensical and fantastic! I admire all of you for your unique style and brand of humor. Blog-on!

The 7th Day...

2008-02-18T17:13:00.005-05:00

...and on the 7th day, she shoveled her ass off! Today the temperature was around 50 degrees, tomorrow, things will be frozen again. This was my only window of opportunity. I started shoveling at 9am and finished at 3pm. I took two breaks to change into dry clothes, eat a snack, and hydrate. I got out the hose and ran water down the driveway for hours, this melted through the ice to pavement, in some spots. Of course I was standing in water most of the day which totally wanked! I shoveled up about 2inches of heavy frozen slush, to reveal solid ice underneath, but with water and salt and sand, I was able to get down, and yes...back up the driveway!

Metal Snow Shovel: $24.00

Ruined Colorado Work Boots: $ 140.00

Calories Burned: (no one has ever counted that high)

Freedom: Priceless

During my confinement I rowed 82,000 meters, watched 14 movies, read 1 1/2 books, took apart, cleaned and reassembled the blower on my wood stove and watched way too much tv. I kept up with everyone's blogs, wrote 4 posts, played lots of computer games. I had to call and reschedule a few appointments, stress about money, stress about work, stress about the effects of stress, stress about rescheduling and telling people what a perfect retard I am, and how I'm stuck as a result.

Yesterday, around noon, I was down for a long row. I blast my ipod while I'm rowing and do it downstairs, so I'm in my own little world. I rowed for an hour and 15 minutes. When I was done, the dogs were going nuts, so I looked out the window, and there was someone standing there. I opened the door, it was my Dad. He said, "Call your mother, she thinks you've done yourself in."

I looked at my cell phone when I got upstairs, 10 missed calls! She'd been calling the whole time I was rowing, and sent him out to find my body, after about a half an hour, because it takes about that long to drive to my house from theirs, and he said it took him 20 minutes to get up the to the house from the road where he had parked.

After I talked to my mother, and she was calm, I went outside with my Dad and we discussed the options with the driveway. "Ya know...This is really a summer house." he blurted out.

"Thanks dad, That's helpful!" I answered. I can always count on him for gems like this. We talked about the possibility of heating the driveway in the future, that was also helpful, if I win the lottery! He brought me a square-ended garden shovel I could hack away at the frozen slush with, which was entertaining for about an hour after he'd gone. Then it started to rain and sleet, and I was frozen and getting nowhere so I gave up and went back inside.

Now, it's all behind me, and I have learned two valuable lessons:

Plow pretty quickly after it snows, during, if there's a lot!

Move back to California, you don't belong here.

Snowbound!

2008-02-16T19:29:00.005-05:00

On Tuesday, we got some snow, a few inches followed by lots and lots of rain. I decided to wait to plow. The thinking was, if I removed the snow I would have sheer ice on my challenging driveway. I figured it would be easier to clear the rain with the snow. The next morning everything was frozen, solid! Duh! What did I think was going to happen overnight! I couldn't break the crust of the snow. I tried the plow, nope, just rode on top, so did the truck. There was no way I was pointing that thing down the hill. I looked at the weather, it said the next day the temperature would be up above freezing, 38. It'll be softer tomorrow, I reasoned, I'll clear it then. Well, the temperature rose alright, to a whopping 33 degrees for about 2 hours mid-day. The snow was even harder.

Today is Saturday and I am still stuck. 5 days have passed, I can't get to my jobs, can't get the supplies I need, can't get to the tools I need. I have deadlines closing in on me both financial , and jobs, and I can't meet any of them. I'm here at my house wondering if and when I will ever be able to clear the driveway. In the meantime, I'm nurturing along my ulcer, and looking for ways to occupy my mind and keep it off my sticky situation.

I made the trek down to my mailbox yesterday in my snowshoes. I really had to jab the poles in hard to drive them into the snow. Other than that, I've been holed up here, no human contact, no trips to the grocery store, no human contact, no relaxation, no human contact...

The walls are closing in on me. My dogs are sick of me, and soon we'll be competing for the last bits of food in the cupboard. I may be out there tomorrow in my snow gear on my hands and knees, with an ice pick, hacking away at the thick icy coating until my fingers bleed. I can feel my sanity slowly slipping away, goodbye coherency, bye bye..hehheheheeeeheheee.

Happy V-Day Everyone!

2008-02-11T09:37:00.006-05:00

What V-Day Means to Me

(the real story)

by Vlad the Visionary

Life-like scaled down model of Vlad the Visionary

Vlad was ahead of his time. Not many people know this, but I he invented velcro back in the middle ages. Convinced that this was the work of Satan, Vlad was exiled from the village of Vhathefuk by King Victor. Vlad, overcome by heavyheartedness, holed up in a violet vestibule abandoned by it's velveteen rabbit years before. His sadness was quickly replaced with hunger, and Vlad turned to violence to meet his needs. When villagers passed, traveling in or out of the village, Vlad would viciously attack them, and relieve them of whatever food or money they might have. Vlad validated the villager's fear of him by becoming the very villain they'd dreaded he might be when they evacuated him originally.

Vlad became vindictive and venomous, using various methods to violate his victims until his vault was filled with Vienna sausages, Velveeta, and vodka. The vodka was necessary to get those nasty little sausages down. Eventually, the people become too afraid to venture outside the walls of the village. Even Domino's would not venture past and risk Vlad's vehemmence.

The villagers, now trapped themselves, began to vie for survival. On the verge on starvation, they stole from one another, and violence filled the void that fear and hunger had created. The village reached extreme volatility at amazing velocity and the people went to their leader to vent.

When King Victor viewed his choices, make peace with Vlad, versus die a violent and untimely death, his verdict was clear. He then, of his own volition, ventured toward the vestibule, and in a voice like velvet, offered his sincere apology to Vlad. Vlad, vindicated, accepted the truce and vowed never to mention velcro again. The day this accord was struck, become known throughout the realm as V-Day.

The moral of the story is: What you resist will persist.. or Velcro might suck, but not as much as Valentine's Day... or Writing a story with a lot V's in it, is vexing.

Thursday 13: Random Thoughts

2008-02-07T16:29:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd put up a few things I think about when I can't sleep at night, or while I'm stuck driving behind an old man in a hat, with his hands at 10 and 2 o'clock, and no particular place to go.

1. I would rather run across a floor full of thumbtacks barefoot, to get to the mute button, than listen to that guy that screams at me about Oxi Clean and Orange Glo for 2 seconds.

2. I often wonder what life would be like if I wasn't so curious.

3. When someone tells me to calm down, I have the overwhelming desire to stab them in the neck.

4. If I listed this on Craig's list, as a riding lawn mower, would that be wrong?

5. Do people think that pushing the elevator call button a crap-load of times will scare the elevator into thinking there's an angry mob waiting, so it'll work faster?

6. With ALL that money, can't Donald Trump do something better with his hair?

7. When I go up or down a flight of stairs, I can't remember why I did it, and have to return to the floor I came from to figure it out, then start again. If I lived in a ranch, would my memory improve, and my pants size go up?

8. Is it considered a plus or a minus to have a cup-holder as standard equipment?

9. If men were the ones who got pregnant, RU486 (the morning after pill) would be at the register right next to the tic-tacs.

10. When a complete stranger tells me to "smile" It makes me want to sink a crowbar into his skull, set him fire and push him off a bridge into a wood-chipper.

11. What if the dog that I rescued from an abusive pet-owner, was an abusive pet-owner himself in his last life, and was reincarnated as an abused dog to pay his penance, which I interrupted, so now he'll have to come back and do the whole abused dog thing all over again in his next life?

12. Toilets that flush automatically, sometimes while you're still on them, should all be torn out and shipped to a country where they currently just have a hole in the ground to squat over, because they are moderately better than that!

13. If blogging is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

Putting the "ow" in plow!

2008-02-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

I have a STEEP driveway. It's the price I pay for my beautiful view, and quiet, and privacy. In life there are trade-offs, and when I bought my home, I thought I knew what I was doing. Last year I spent my first winter here. I hired a plow-guy. It didn't snow a lot last year but he still did a pretty crummy job on my driveway, and the last storm, which was the biggest, the ass-hat didn't show up at all. I was just a little put out, when I got home and had to park in the street and trudge up, not only because I live on a very narrow country road with no "on street" parking, but also because trudging is very low on my list of things I enjoy doing.

In the spring I decided to buy a big ol' truck, which I need for my business anyway, and a plow so I can do it myself, and not be dependent on some creepy half-wit to do it. So, I have been plowing my own driveway this winter, and there has been plenty of snow, and lots of opportunities for me to hone my plowing prowess as it were.

This last storm we had a couple weeks ago which dumped about 9 inches of hard-pack snow, the kind that's great for snowmen and snowball fights delivered a whole new experience to me. I keep a close eye on the weather to try to be sure that my truck and I will be at the top of the driveway in the event of a storm, because going down first is MUCH easier than the other way around. The storm came, I waited it out, and when it seemed like it was over, I went out to make with plowing. I plowed down the left side first, lifted the blade, went back up, repeated on the right side, no problem. Got back up, plowed the top, went back down to clean up better, went back up, nope, not this time. I lost my traction and couldn't get up. I backed down the road a ways to get a better run at it. I gunned it and got most of the way up the incline before I lost traction again, and started sliding backwards down the driveway. I struggled to get the truck into reverse, and pumped the brakes but just kept picking up speed. Wheeeeeeee! I'm gonna die! My butt was clenched so hard I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. I dropped the blade even though there was no snow left to pile up behind it and slow my decent. I knew that the snow bank on the other side of the road would not impede my progress towards the nearest tree, and there was nothing I could do about it. Then, right at the bottom of the driveway, somehow something dug in, and I stopped broadside in the road, my bumper about an inch from the snowbank on the other side. I just sat there collecting myself for a minute, trying to relax my grip on the steering wheel.

I decided to walk up. I wiped out almost immediately and realized I could not keep my footing on the driveway, so I walked up the side in the deep snow. When I got to the house, I put my snowshoes on, got a bin with sand and salt in it, put it on a sled and made my way back down the driveway sanding and salting until I reached the bottom. I threw everything in the back of the truck and braced myself for another attempt.

I made it! *phew* I called my client, and said, I won't be leaving the house today, so I'll see you tomorrow. It was then that I understood why my plow-guy disappeared without a trace, but he still could've called.

Awards are like...

2008-01-28T17:54:00.000-05:00

Awards are like sex:

They are almost always a pleasant surprise
You aren't really sure where it's going to come from (or is that just me?)
They are as much fun to give, as they are to recieve
When it's all over, you are exhausted, but completely satisfied
Your good mood as a result, may last for hours or days
The more you get, the better you feel
You never forget your first
You always want more (or is that just me again?)

In short, getting an award is...good :) Speaking of awards, I did get one recently from CS. She is an exemplary blogger, for whom I have the utmost respect. She is wise and exhibits very good judgement in all facets of her life, as far as I can tell, but she trips up occasionally and hands out awards willy-nilly, with little regard for talent or style. Although, most of her chosen recipients are very deserving, I am mystified, once again.

I humbly accept this award and would like to pass it on to a few far more deserving candidates than myself.

Theweyrd1 over at Keen Observer of the Human Condition has started blogging recently. I like to think I had a hand in her decision to take up the habit, and she has taken it to an amazing level in an astoundingly short period of time.

Boo7 over at Mundane Musings for going above and beyond the expected duties of a blogger with her warm and supportive comments and emails.

Heartinsanfrancisco from Guilty With An Explanation for her amazing ability to see and expose the truths in life that remain hidden to the less observant, and for bringing so much joy to my blogging experience by totally "getting me".

All three of these women make the web, and the world, a better place because they are in it!

Row, row, row (whitchaaaa) supposed to be a whip noise!

2008-01-24T15:22:00.000-05:00

My erg looks just like this but there's no guy on it, which is perfect because that's where I sit!

As some of you know, I have been rowing on my ergometer a Lot lately. I go down into the basement in the morning. It's cold down there, and I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I have my little ipod with me, I dock the ipod, do a little stretching and plant my hiney for an hour long row. I get warmed up within the first 10 minutes or so, and I'm all sweaty and gross by the end.

I started on Thanksgiving day, taking on a "holiday challenge" issued each year by "Concept 2" the manufacturer of the erg. They challenge you to row 200,000 meters between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This represents quite a bit of time in the saddle. I took it on, thinking it would not only prevent gaining weight over the holidays, but also establish daily rowing as a routine for me, and it worked on both counts! I completed the challenge plus a few meters, and since then I've posted another 300,000 meters in my log. My blisters are callouses, and I can 't feel my butt, however others have told me that they can. I have now lost 24 pounds, and have dramatically increased my fitness level over the past 2 months. I feel not only thinner, but stronger, more energetic, and more confident. All good!

This is my shape before Thanksgiving:

I thought it would help to provide some visual aids of my process without actually putting pictures of me in here, so hmmm....bottles!

This is where I'm headed now....................................................................................

But too much of a good thing, and watch out, I don't want to end up like this.

So, as you can clearly see, my goal is to end up somewhere between a coke bottle and a can of red bull. I don't know when I'm going to get there, but I do intend to arrive.

Can a Woman Lead?

2008-01-20T13:32:00.000-05:00

Wondering who to vote for? The conventional thinking is, women are too emotional, while men are logical. Really? Watch and judge for yourself.

I found this video over at the amazingly funny comedian Susan Norfleet's blog fairylady, and couldn't resist featuring it here.

Birdhouses

2008-01-19T21:50:00.000-05:00

I like building bird houses. I've been building bluebird houses for my mom for many years. Two Christmases ago I built some for my friends that looked like their houses, but were still fairly simple. They were time consuming, but I never mind spending time on things I know will be appreciated. This summer I built some simple ones for a "yart" sale, (combination yard & art) over at KJ's house.

They were fun to do, and I sold almost all of them. I also was asked if I could build one for someone as a Christmas gift, that looked like their house in Maine. I agreed and when I got the pictures of the house, I was surprised! Who would've suspected it would be a contemporary house with funny curves and roof lines. I puzzled and thought and puzzled some more, just like a Seuss character.

I didn't get the house done in time for Christmas due to just really poor time management on my part. This house took many hours to complete. I am really happy to finally have it finished, and I really hope the woman who asked me to build it likes it a whole bunch. She has been incredibly patient and understanding in all of this. I really am lucky in that way. I have had the pleasure of working for some of the kindest people one could hope for, and this project was no exception. I think I'll take some time off from birdhouses for a while. When's Mother's Day?

Meet Bug

2008-01-17T20:28:00.000-05:00

Bug, as I call him, after the verb to bug, is a little Lhasa Apso. His real name is McDuffy, named so by my mother who insists he looks Scottish. My parents are on a two week long vacation in a warmer clime, while I care for the bug, and look after their house etc. My brother has Michael, the well behaved dog that everyone loves. I get stuck with this stubborn, selfish, needy pain in the butt. Yes, he's cute, but despicable. Last night he woke me up at 2am to go outside. My parents do not get up in the middle of the night to let him out, believe me. It took me two of the longest tossing and turning hours ever, to get back to sleep. He cries a lot, about everything, whine whine whine, it's enough to make my head pop right off my body. I love dogs, but this thing...My dogs get aggravated with him because he thinks he's the alpha. A 14 pound dust mop the alpha over a 90 pound Newfie mix, Paaaleeeease! My dogs are having none of it.

He tries to steal the other dog's cookies, he takes their woobies, and earlier, I caught him cheating at cards! When he wants to go outside, he bites and tugs on your pant leg. When you call him, he won't come. Once you give up, and shut the door, there he is. If you need to borrow five bucks, he wants to know if you can break a fifty. He likes to be picked up, he stands there on his back legs and paws at the air with his front paws at you until you do it. Once he's in your lap, he begins encroaching on whatever you're trying to do, he'll just take r

Don't believe her, she is making it all up, except the part about my being cute! I am the smartest and best little doggie ever! These other loser dogs can't even type over 30 words a minute. I mean WTF? right? Hey, what was that? Did you hear something? No! Don't put me down, I'm not done...

As I was saying, my parents can't get back and collect their evil little Muppet soon enough!

It's In The Mail

2008-01-11T22:34:00.000-05:00

My postal carrier is a woman, she drives semi-recklessly, comes very late in the day, never smiles or waves, smells of Wild Turkey, and fills my mail box with interesting oppurtunities everyday. You call it junk, I call it blog material. Today I have something from the "Make a Wish Foundation", they probably want a donation, I don't have any money to give right now, but I'll open it anyway. I'd hate to just throw it away, you never know, they might be granting one of my wishes.

Then there's this free insurance offer, or at least the first $1,000.00 of coverage is free, after that I pay for .90 for each additional thousand up to $300,000. That sounds reasonable. It's death or dismemberment insurance. I'm a woodworker, maybe it'd be a good idea, just in case. I read over the coverage plan, and in order to get a 100% payout I'd need to lose 2 arms and a leg, or both feet and an eye, or a foot, and a hand both on the same side, and my sense of smell. I could get a 50% payout for both eyes and a bad haircut, or my hearing, my two front teeth and frontal lobe. 25% if I lose one foot, my thumb and forefinger on the same hand, and my ass in a poker game. If i decide to buy it, I figure I've lost my money, and my ability to reason.

Then, there are a ton of catalogs, I believe they are spawned by my love of Internet shopping. You know the ones, Yarn by the Yard, Yoke and Yak, Stone Carvers Unlimited, Spit-shine, Boot and Bugle, Just Egg-timers, Kettle and Doormat, Twigs and Berries, Larry and Navin, Organic Only, Unisex Unitards, The Plastic Place, and then I get some I don't need!

So next time you go to your mailbox and pull out a giant load of "junk", just remember someone works hard to deliver that alleged "junk" to you everyday, and once you've determined it's all completely devoid of value, do what I do, use it for the seemingly never-ending quest to keep yourself warm. If you live in a warm climate, move.

Clean Up, Company's Coming!

2008-01-08T17:33:00.000-05:00

Housework! Let me just start by saying, I put up a good front. People who visit my home think I'm a certain kind of person, neat, clean, organized etc. In fact I am another kind of person, the kind of person who doesn't do much housework at all, until it has to be done. Yes, I do own organized, most of the time, but I do not always put things in the place that I have provided for them to go, so I will always no where they are. I typically find that the worse it gets, the worse I get. I may keep the house as neat as a pin for a week, but if one day of laziness passes, others are sure to follow, until I need a shovel and a box of trash bags, or a gallon of gas and a match, but gas is so expensive now, and I could drive close to 10 or 11 miles with that gallon. Often times having company is what keeps things from getting to this crap-piled-everywhere-super-nova level of disarray. I diligently vacuum, scrub, polish, all of it, before anyone can witness the dusty dog-hair coated carnage. Although I have a few friends I frequently just pop in on, gratefully, they never return the favor, and are all still sure that I am one of the most fastidious people they know. I can remember as a kid when my mother would start up the vacuum, the conversation would go something like this.

Rotten Kid (me) "Hey Mom, Who's coming over?"

Mom: "Just because I'm cleaning doesn't mean someone's coming over!"

me: "I know Mom, you're like, June Cleaver or something."

Mom: *sigh* "The Terva's are coming over to play cards."

So, I know where I got it, and maybe if I had company more often, the ugly side wouldn't ever show, anyway my point is, and I do have one, that recently I was given an award by CS. I love awards, and recognition, and presents, and surprises, and long walks on the...but I digress. She gave me a wonderful award for my blog and recommended people come over here to my blog to check me out.

Oh My God!!! I'm not ready. I come back and look at my blog, one of her readers had already been here and left a comment. I didn't tidy up at all, I didn't write a new post, nothing, I suppose many have come, seen, and left wondering what on earth CS could have been thinking bestowing such an honor upon a messy blog-keeper like me? If you think that's messed up, check out the color of this award!

You Make My Day

2008-01-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

Bird Anonymous has presented me with this award, and I am to pass it on to 10 bloggers who make my day.

This is fun to do, since Anony and kj already have one, my 10 are, in no particular order, CS, Charlotta-Love, Ces, Heartsinsanfrancisco, Dorky Dad, Diesel, Debra Kay, tsduff, craig d, and wieneke. Congratulations all of you, go ahead, make my day!

Now for something completely different...

2008-01-05T10:27:00.000-05:00

I've got nothing. How is it that when I'm telling a story, I can't help but be funny, but when I put my fingers on these keys, they suck all the wit right out of me, like small square humor-lypo-suction thingys with letters on them??? I blog, and all you hear is, blog-blog-blog... I need to score some of that super-secret-silly-blog-writing-dust (sssbwd), and I don't care how many lives I have to take to get it. That's right! That's how I roll, so watch your backs Diesel and Dorky Dad, I know you guys have the dust, and that you coat your bodies with Pam, and roll around naked in it before attempting a new post. It seems my desire to write a funny post, is matched only by my complete inability to do so.

I was mulling over the idea of a laugh-track. When you get to the end of an incredibly funny line, just in case you don't realize just exactly how outrageously funny it is, the laugh-track is queued, and you can join in mindlessly, Ohhhh, that red mojo, how does she come up with this stuff?

Earlier today, when I began blathering on about my humor-challenged writing style, I was eating some tuna salad. Not a sandwich, or a melt, just tuna salad in a bowl with a fork. I was chewing a mouthful, when I suddenly sneezed. Bits of tuna salad shrapnel sprayed in a wide pattern all over the entire area directly in front of me. It did not come out my ears, so none went to the sides. This included my laptop, it was pretty disgusting. On a scale from 1 to 10 of disgustingness, 1 being: a booger is hanging out of your nose, and 10 being: a long slow french kiss with Jaba the Hut, it was about a 5! I find as I age, more and more disgusting things seem to be included in my daily life, so I try not to be alarmed unless they are catastrophic, psychologically damaging, or require immediate medical attention. It's funny because it's true.

If you found this story psychologically damaging, you were probably pretty close to the edge already. The opinions given in this blog are not necessarily the opinions of the owner of the computer on which they are written.

The First Post of the Year

2008-01-02T21:35:00.000-05:00

It seems like a lot of pressure. I want to begin the year on a positive note, especially since I'm feeling so optimistic about the present year. It's just that things haven't gone so smoothly since the stroke of midnight, all the way up to, well, until now. I would certainly not throw in the towel on the entire year based on a few trying days, but I do feel I should write something new. I have been working on my reclaiming my body, and since Thanksgiving, I've been rowing for an hour almost everyday. So far it's going very well, I've lost a little over 20 pounds. I feel better, stronger, more confident, and I definitely plan to continue along this vein. This may not be new for this shiny new year, but it does allow me to enter it with optimism and excitement.

Expectations are funny things. When you have them, you can, and will be disappointed. If you can avoid them, everything good feels more like a gift. This is the approach I like to take, although I'm not always successful.

I can't help feeling like this year will be an important year in my future, but I do so knowing that I am the catalyst for whatever changes occur. I must open the door to the new, and open it often. I have to allow the flow of positive energy by pushing the negative aside to let it in. I need to give good things the opportunity to happen. With this in mind, I know I have to make some changes in the way I live. Recognizing the need for change is not the same as changing.

Here are some of the changes I plan to make.

1. I will make at least 2 new friends this year.

2. I will put myself out there more socially, even if I have to go do things alone.

3. I will join 2 new group activities.

4. I will smile and say hello to more people.

5. I will not fail to ask someone I am interested in, out for coffee or a drink.

If you have any helpful suggestions I can add to my list, please let me know.

This post seems too serious. I should say something funny like "canned pork" which Dorky Dad assures me is very funny.

Hello-Goodbye

2007-12-27T22:39:00.000-05:00

I was going to do a post about 2007. I started to compose two lists, one of "Crap I hated" and the other of "magical moments" I wasn't far into this process when I recognized that this was far too depressing an undertaking, and quickly abandoned the idea.

Instead, I will simply share with you that I am writing this blog on a new laptop. My not very old one bit the dust two days before Christmas, and has to be sent somewhere far away, for a very long time, to be repaired. I am less than happy about spending the money. That said, I will need all of you to send back your virtual presents, I simply can't afford to be that generous anymore. I'm sorry, but they all must go back immediately! Noooo, you can keep them, I was just kidding. I can get a second job nights, pole dancing to raise the cash I need. My dogs have been practicing a "who's on first?" routine, they hope to do downtown on weekends, I got some crap for Christmas I can sell on ebay, and my dear old mom is scrubbing floors at night and on weekends.

2008 is going to be wonderful, I can feel it my bones. Something big is coming! I feel optimistic and I have made many of the resolutions on my resolution generator. I added: I will cut down on my use of the f-word in a non-romantic way before breakfast. So I think that's really going to help!

Happy New Year Everyone! I do hope it is the best so far, for everyone.

It's Virtually Christmas

2007-12-20T09:52:00.000-05:00

On a recent visit to I am woman, see me blog I was delighted to see that Lizza had done some virtual shopping for some of her faithful readers. I decided it would be fun to do the same, and here are the results of my cyber shopping trip.

Anon: Since you are such a great fan of birds, as am I, I thought I'd find you a beautiful oil painting of an exotic bird. This is an African Congo Grey painted by Parrot painter Roy Astley Fryer.

Kj: I know that most of the writing you do is on your computer, but for those moments when you don't have your handy laptop with you, I picked you out a beautiful Visconti fountain,, and ball point pen set. I know you'll love it.

Ces: My gift to you is rather selfish. I would love to give you to a lifelong supply of Molskine notebooks so you never have to stop drawing, and writing, and sharing all the beauty that is in your head.

CS: I wanted to find you something that might help you relax and stay healthy. This is all I could come up with.

tsduff: You were easy because I already know exactly what you want.

Heartinsanfrancisco: I thought it would be fun to sneak something into your closet for you to find. Not the woman, just the jacket. It's faux fur of course!

craig d: I wanted to find you something to encourage the hobby you share with your daughter. Sketching cartoon characters.

charlotta-love: In light of your new boyfriend, I thought this splinter removal kit prudent!

dorky dad: To aid in your suffering over the next couple of weeks I found you some bromo-seltzer.

boo7: Since you probably love to spoil those dogs of yours, I thought they might love some sensible shoes. These are for hiking.

wieneke: I have never been to your blog, but I love that you visit mine, so I found you an international trip planner for when you come to visit.

debra kay, I don't know why, but I couldn't control the urge to get you a pony.

I hope everyone enjoys their virtual gifts. I'm exhausted from all this shopping, so I hope it's okay that I didn't wrap anything. Merry Christmas You Guys!

Devotion

2007-12-18T22:58:00.000-05:00

There are lots of kinds of devotion. There's undying devotion, there's devotion to a cause, a devoted servant, friend or employee. There's even devotion to a blog. I have faltered recently in my bloggish devotion, due in large part to my unyielding devotion to not only the survival, but the strengthening of my small business, and the ability to pay my mortgage. I have missed my Monday Movies review this week, I have slacked off on reading and commenting everyone else's blogs, and I feel TERRIBLE about it.

My life has made a lot of demands on me this past week, and I have been home late, exhausted and completely empty in the creativity department. I hit the blog-wall. I did however answer my phone one morning before I left the house, and heard from the local florist, that they'd been trying to make a delivery for several days. I did notice some tire tracks belonging to some ill-prepared vehicle attempting the steep and snowy ascent that is my driveway. I stopped at the shop de flowers on my way through town, and they pulled a gorgeous bouquet out of the cooler and placed it before me.

I checked to make sure it was really for me. "Who loves me?" I wondered. I grabbed the flowers and took them to the privacy of my vehicle to read the card. Ah, my dear friends kj, and jb, a thank you for helping them out. Aren't friends the best?

Oh Holy Night for laundry

2007-12-12T19:41:00.000-05:00

On my way to my job site this morning, I passed an apartment with wet laundry hanging out on a line on the back balcony. Boy was that Christmasy! I started belting out, "Oh holey socks, the thongs are intertwining, it is the line with clothes that won't dry. The shirts and pants and underwear so shiny, the bras and jeans all damp and badly worn. All of the tees, are iced and slowly melting, the line. the line, oh-oh the line, where clothes are hung."

I do hope you sung that! I'm just curious, do things actually dry in this winter weather?

Tis the Season...

2007-12-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

My dear friend who wishes to remain anonymous, so we'll call her "Hennifer", photographed this sign on her way home from work last night.

Monday Movies

2007-12-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

Time for my review the best and worst movie I watched this past week. I will be using a six star rating system:

Hated it (wasted 2 whole hours of my life)
Didn't like it
Not bad, but not recommendable
Liked it
Liked it a lot
Loved it (these are the ones I buy)

The best and the worst this week:

The best was Pirates of the Caribbean, At World's End

I gave this movie 6 stars, my highest rating. If you liked the first two, the third will not disappoint. I like a movie that doesn't insist I hold on to reality very tightly, and hate anything that couldn't really happen. If you are that kind of person, you probably don't care for any of these movies, but I watch movies to escape, not to increase my factual trivial knowledge hoping to win Jeopardy one day. It has action, betrayal, comedy, all the good stuff. Also, Kiera Knightley has a more prominent role, and does some impressive swashbuckling which I love to see.

The worst was The Last Mimzy. I gave this movie 3 stars. Maybe I expected too much. Its a kid's movie. Sometimes these movies have something for everyone, and sometimes they are strictly for kids. I was guessing from the trailer, that this would be entertaining for young and a little less young alike, but alas, it was weak. The plot was thin, the magical stuff was 'eh, the parents were idiots, you wondered how they got through the day. Maybe okay for kids, but not great for anyone.

Merry Christmas to Me!

2007-12-08T09:46:00.000-05:00

I'm almost certain by now, that I've got you all convinced that I have a heart of gold, think only of others, and spend all my spare time doing anonymous good deeds. No? Good, because if there's one thing I am, it's honest. I can not resist buying myself something nice for Christmas every year. It does take the pressure off everyone else to get me something I'll really love, so I do it for them. Okay, I do it for me. Anyhoo...this year I gave myself a new camera, it's just like the one Anon uses to shoot all those pesky birds. Oh, I forgot to mention, I always give myself the gift early too, when I'm in the shopping, or parting with my loot mode. Plus this way, I can kind of surprise myself, and I DO LOVE surprises. Here are a few shots I took on the maiden voyage of my hot new technologically advanced, easy to use, incredibly self-indulgent camera.

If you saw my previous post, first snowthese were taken from the same spot, inside my kitchen door. These are some of the birds that come to my feeders that I did not catch the first time. Mr. Cardinal, the Ms. was here too, but they took off as soon as I started shooting.

A Blue Jay, who tries to get seed out of my little song bird feeder and a Red-bellied woodpecker.

2 Hot Girls in the Shower #10 - Holiday Episode

2007-12-04T20:24:00.001-05:00

Monday Movies

2007-12-03T17:03:00.000-05:00

Time for my review the best and worst movie I watched this past week. I will be using a six star rating system:

Hated it (wasted 2 whole hours of my life)
Didn't like it
Not bad, but not recommendable
Liked it
Liked it a lot
Loved it (these are the ones I buy)

Best and Worst:

The best film this week was "The Notebook" I rate it 5 stars. This is a touching look at what true love can overcome, given the chance. It's very well done, and although I don't generally like movies that make me cry, I did thoroughly enjoy this one.

The worst this week was "Noel" I rate it 3 stars. With a cast that includes Susan Sarandon, Penelope' Cruz, and Alan Arkin you'd think it has to be pretty darn good. Well, it felt sappy and saccharin, and used the kind of cheese-coated stuff that would never fly in any other kind of movie, but a Christmas movie.

Putting the Plow on My Truck

2007-12-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, so tomorrow the forecast is snow, with more of the same on Monday, and it's definitely cold enough to stick, so today I went out into the bitter windy weather to hook up my plow. This is the first time I've done it alone, but how hard could it be? Armed with long underwear, boots, gloves, a cap, and boundless optimism I wandered outside to my already heated truck. (remote starter)

I jumped into it and pulled up pretty close to the plow, parked it, got out to look, realigned it, pulled forward, parked it, got out to look...if at this point you're sensing there's a pattern here, you'd be right! There was also lots of raising and lowering the plow by cranking the jack, there was also pushing, kicking, jumping on, a few love taps with a sledge hammer, and finally, one side was in place. To line up the other side there was more driving, raising and lowering the plow, kicking, and you guessed it swearing. I did get it on however and considered that a Win. Yes, it took about the same amount of time it takes some people to shovel their entire driveway, but victories, no matter how small are important to recognize, celebrate, and even blog about.

Can I help who's next?- or- The downfall of customer service

2007-11-28T09:40:00.000-05:00

In this country at least, "Can I help who's next?" has become a common phrase. It assaults my ears every time I hear it, like nails on a chalkboard. In the long form it would be, "Can I help who is next?" It's really two questions strung together, "Can I help?", "Who's next?" There are so many other ways to phrase it that would be fine. The two I just mentioned, "Can I help the next person in line?" or, how about that personal touch, "Can I help you?" (look directly at the person you are speaking to). Could customer service go that far? To actually make eye contact?

Another favorite of mine, is when I walk up to a cashier, and without looking up, they blurt out, "Can I help you sir?" Yes, I am a carpenter, I wear work boots, carpenter pants, and sweatshirt, or some other masculine drably colored garb. I'm not particularly curvy, and I have short hair, but I don't smell bad or flash any butt crack. (sorry guys, for that sweeping generalization)

I'm always a bit put off by this however because I feel that the "sir" is thrown in as a measure of respect, yet this person has not even focused on me, and correctly determined my gender. Once they look at me, they get all embarrassed and red, and apologize, and I have to wonder, how often does this happen to this cashier or salesperson? Because it happens to me a lot. I find the best way to respond to this, is simply smile, while burning a hole through their forehead using my evil-eye-heat-vision. Yes, I could dress in pink, and grow my hair, and put a scrunchy in it, but I'd rather be looked at by the people addressing me. Is that too much to ask?

Monday Movies

2007-11-26T16:46:00.001-05:00

I ~~like~~ love movies! I watch very little television, but I do have a large pull down movie screen, and projector, a very good sound system and a movie collection of about 400 DVDs so far. I watch several movies a week, and thought I would make a movie review on Mondays, part of my blog. I will review the best and the worst movie I saw this past week. This may bore some of you to tears, but I don't mind! I belong to Netflix and they use a 5 star rating system, which I think is insufficient so I will use a six star system.

Hated it (wasted 2 whole hours of my life)

Didn't like it

Not bad, but not recommendable

Liked it

Liked it a lot

Loved it (these are the ones I buy)

This weeks best and worst:

Stomp the Yard was the best movie this week. I give it 4 stars. The part of this film that I really like is the "stepping" that they do throughout the movie. This is a combination of precision drill team and dance. Since I have done both, it is of particular interest to me. The storyline is eh, okay. If you happened to see Drumline, this is pretty much the same movie; just plug in the different activity. It is possible that if you're not me, or someone exactly like me, you may not enjoy this movie as much as I did. In fact if there had been more stepping and less story, I'd have rated it even higher! Sick.

Fear X is one of the worst pieces of garbage I've sat through in a long time. I give it 2 stars. I'd give it 1, but I have to save 1 for something really offensive, not just plain lame. Plus, I did sit though the whole thing. What made me do it? John Turturro, of course. This guy can really do scary! If you saw Secret Window staring Johnny Depp you know what I'm talking about. He's a good actor overall, so I kept waiting for the movie to start, for him to snap. Well, I was still waiting when the credits started to roll. What a slow moving, non-gripping, cure for insomnia this movie was. In fact, the look on his face on the cover of the DVD jacket is the same look I had on my face for the entire movie.

7 Ways I'm Weird

2007-11-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

From one of very most favorite bloggers, Heartinsanfrancisco's blog, Guilty With an Explanation, I have been passively tagged with this meme. I am called upon to describe 7 ways I'm weird, or random facts about me:

1. When I was around 5 years old, I asked my mother; who was my mother before her. (I'm not adopted)

2. I spent about a month homeless, immediately preceding my signing up to join the army. I sneaked into a college dorm late at night behind someone that lived there, and slept in a broom closet. I was up and out very early in the morning before anyone discovered me.

3. Some women followed me from a bar where I worked one night, to my car, and tried to break into it to hurt or kill me. I got the doors locked just in time. They tried to break the windows, then they pulled their car up behind mine to try to trap me, and I saw one pull a shot gun out of the trunk. I took off, over a sidewalk to get away and they chased me in their car through the streets of Hartford. I ran every red light I came to, to try to attract the attention of the police, but nothing. I finally made it back to the bar, and ran back inside, where the 400 pound bouncer, Patrick would protect me.

4. I spent 2 years in Virginia with a bicycle as my only mode of transportation.

5. When I lived in L.A. , I danced in a gay country western meets Las Vegas show girls dance group called The Men and Women of the Midnight Cowboys. We performed at Gay Pride festivals, The San Diego Gay Rodeo, and GLAD media awards.

6. I packed up my life and moved to California without ever having been there. I didn't know anyone, or have a job. I prepaid a month for a room in a house, and had a months worth of rent and grocery money on me.

7. I have an uncanny memory for song lyrics. I learn them very quickly, and don't seem to ever forget them. I can hear a song I haven't heard in over 30 years, and still know the words.

Again, I would like to add; if you would like to do this meme, please consider yourself tagged and have fun!

First Snow

2007-11-20T10:24:00.001-05:00

A treeGoldfinches

A titmouse on the birdbath heater, a snow bird, and a dove.

Another titmouse, and a chickadee.

I woke this morning when my clock radio shattered the silence with of all things, Christmas music! Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, but this annoyingly early start can make even me, sick of it before it even gets here. I looked up from my warm bed, the house is cold in the morning, and saw snow covering the skylight. Oh bother, I'm really not ready for this. I am working in my workshop today, so I don't need to go anywhere but if I did have to, it would not bode well for me. I haven't yet added hundreds of pounds to the bed of my truck for traction. Of course it's four wheel drive, but it still needs weight in the back. This is something I left off of my earlier post of ways I'd rather not spend my time. Anyhoo, although I bitch and moan about the snow, it is quite beautiful and the birds don't seem to mind it at all. These are a few of the birds in my backyard this morning.

CCCC

2007-11-17T20:37:00.000-05:00

I made some very nice friends this year from my golf league, among them two wonderful women, who have enjoyed spending close to 28 years together. They are clearly still in love and an inspiration. They offered up some relationship advice to me, and I gladly took it.
"When people ask us how we've stayed together so long we tell them it's because of the 4 C's." one of them said.
"Okay, I'll bite, what are they?" I asked.
They told me, and now I'm going to tell you, because after thinking it through, I am sure that they are the necessary ingredients for a successful relationship. I realized how many times I have failed when only three out of the four were strong.
1. Chemistry

2. Compatibility

3. Communication

4. Comedy

The Guilty Six Meme

2007-11-15T19:37:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by heartinsanfrancisco while visiting the blog Guilty With an Explanation

6 guilty pleasures no one would suspect me of having:
1. I like to watch Spongebob Squarepants

2. Gaming, I love PS2 games like Kingdom Hearts
3. Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide, the whole pint.
4. Singing at the top of my lungs in the car.
5. Starbucks triple vente sugar free vanilla non-fat latte.
6. Puffing but not inhaling on a big nasty macanudo gold cigar with a glass of port

6 guilty pleasures I wish I had the courage to indulge:
1. Run in and complete a marathon
2. White water kayaking

3. Build a wooden strip canoe
4. Start painting (oils)
5. Skydive
6. Get a tattoo

6 pleasures I once considered guilty but have either abandoned or made peace with:
1. Spending the entire day on a motorcycle ride
2. Enjoying a glass of red wine with dinner even when I dine alone
3. Indulging my shoe fetish
4. Golfing twice a week

5. Season opera tickets
6. Putting my needs ahead of others.

Like heartinsanfrancisco, I would like to add that if you'd like to do this meme, consider yourself tagged. I'll see it when I visit you next!

My Great Uncle Bert

2007-11-12T12:32:00.000-05:00

In the beginning of September, I attended a family reunion in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. It was my stepfather's father's side of the family. He reconnected with them while I was living in California, and this was my first opportunity to go and meet some of his extended family on his father's side. The setting was beautiful, a large lodge on a private beach in a gigantic privately owned nature reserve.

My stepfather's father has been deceased for many years. Although my stepfather has been part of my life for about 35 years now, long enough for me to call him Dad, I had never met his dad. My Great Uncle Bert was his father's brother. I gravitated to him immediately, and he to me. He was a wonderful old character, in his late eighties, but sharp as a whip. We sat and talked about my vocation, which he'd wished had been his, and building boats. He's done it, and I've always dreamed of doing it, once I retire. I convinced him we should start a company, building hand made wooden strip canoes called "Wickapissa Canoe Company." (That's Maine speak , it's "wicked pisser" which means really cool, with a Maine accent) I really enjoyed meeting, and spending time with him and his wife of 54 years, Jean, who is a total nature buff and in great shape. A couple weeks after the reunion Bert wrote me a letter saying how great it was to meet me, and that I was a grand niece, and he was sure I'd think of him as a great uncle. Bert passed away this weekend. He died from cancer. I'm sure he'd of been around another 15 years if he hadn't had it. I feel cheated that someone I had such a strong connection to, was taken away so quickly, but it cannot compare to the pain of those who've known him a lifetime and lost him. I'd like to do what I think Bert would do at a time like this. Tell a joke, of his, in his Maine accent so you get the full effect:

Henry and Matha have been married fa fottysome yeeahs. One day Henry goes to the docta and says, "Doc, I think Matha's havin some trouble hearin these days, but I don't know watt ta do about it, it's a touchy subject round a(her).

Doc: "Okay Henry, heeahs wattcha do. Get about 50 feet away from Matha, and see if she can hear you, if she can't, move in 10 feet and try again. Keep doin it 'til she heeahs ya, then come let me know how close ya had ta get."

So, that night Henry goes out on the poch off the livin room, about 50 feet away and yells, " Hey Matha, watts fa suppa?" No answer. Henry goes into the livin room where he's about fotty feet away, "Matha, watts fa suppa?" Still no answer. So Henry makes his way inta the dinnin room, where's he's about 30 feet from Matha. This time he cups his hands around his mouth, (Bert does this) "Hey, Matha, Watts fa suppa?" Nothing. Henry's worried, he goes to the doahway of the kitchen , 20 feet away, "Matha, watts fa suppa?" Still nothing. He gets 10 feet from where she's sittin with her back to him and he says, "Matha, I'd like ta know, watts fa suppa?" She replies, "Godammit Henry, fa the fifth time, It's Chicken!"

Blind Date Falls Flat

2007-11-10T07:55:00.000-05:00

I have learned from experience that when your friends set you up, it's usually a disaster, so when I allow this to happen, I go in with very low expectations. In this case the couple that was setting me up was coming along as a double. I enjoy their company, so I knew the evening would not be a complete loss. I was to meet them at the designated restaurant at 6:15. Parking was a headache, and while I was still looking for a spot, I got a flat tire. A tire purchased only 7 months ago. I must have run over a bottle or something. I was in my very large truck I use for my business. I limped it into a parking lot, and left it in a no parking zone. While on the phone with AAA, I walked to the restaurant. They said someone would be there in about an hour, and they'd call me on my cell, so I could meet the guy back at my truck. I figured that would be just about when the food arrived at the table. Would this story be part of the answer to the question, "How did you two meet?"

My friends were there when I got there, and my date arrived soon after. Upon meeting her, I felt like my tire, deflated. Was the flat tire an omen? We all made the best of it, and had a nice meal. I missed the call from AAA, because my ringer was off (oops), so we all walked to my truck after dinner, and no surprises, the tire was still flat. I placed a second call, they said about an hour, I asked them to call me when the driver was close, and we walked to a place for desert. When they called back, one of my friends and I set back out to meet the guy. He could not get my spare tire down, which is a full size tire mounted under the truck bed. He fiddled and waggled around with a long metal rod meant to lower the tire but it wouldn't work. He called someone else, who arrived and also couldn't get the spare down. They determined that the mechanism was broken, no doubt from when I was rear-ended this summer, and had to tow the truck away. About an hour passed while my friend and I stood there witnessing the string of non-events in the cold. The tow truck was a flat bed. Watching the driver try to get my truck on his truck was an event! First he pulled it up with the winch, and my truck was too long. All the way up the back tires were only half on the bed. He had to lower it down and shortened the chain on the winch to pull the truck up really close to the winch. After that, the whole truck was on, so he started to lower the ramp to level it out, and as the tow truck took the weight of my truck, the front tires of the tow truck came right off the ground! That was scary to watch.

I said "Nice to meetcha." to my date, and my friends brought me home, where I remain, stranded. Now can I make the rule? No More Blind Dates!

Thanksgiving Day is On the Horizon

2007-11-09T09:43:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Day with the fam. My Mother always makes a fabulous Thanksgiving meal. I'm usually there in the kitchen with her all day helping to get everything done. Food preparation is and always has been an art for her. She puts all kinds of work and special care into producing a gorgeous dinner with everyone's favorites, and trust me, it's a mamoth undertaking. When my family gets together, it's like a photo shoot for disfunctinality. My older sister won't be there, never is, hasn't participated in being part of the family for some 15 years now. My step-brother comes because his mother is not a good cook. He usually regales us with some biggoted story about the customers at the Stop & Shop where he is the produce manager. He is not amusing, and I have found there is no amount I can drink to make him funny. My younger sister, who was blessed with a very quick but also mean spirited wit, shows up just in time for food, and waits for the opportunity to strike. It always comes, and she makes the first cut. Usually the turkey is still being sliced when this occurs. No one in my family is ill-epuiped to respond to this kind of attack, so there will be a counter, sometimes sharper than the first. Sometimes that will stave off the attack temporarily, but she waits, like a snake in the grass. Often things will escalate until my Mother who has worked so hard, gets upset because we have ruined another perfectly good holiday get together. Sometimes when we're lucky, things can be contained, and no one is mortally wounded. When this happens, we are all very pleased that we made it through a holiday with the fam. (whew)

More Graphics at pYzam.com

Falling Back

2007-11-05T09:21:00.000-05:00

Did anyone show up early for work today? I am taking a care of Scout, my god dog! She is a very cute little Yorkie mix, and when she's here, I have 3 dogs, small medium and large. She has a habit of waking up at 7:30 every morning and making sure everyone else is up too. We don't want to miss anything. Well, we set the clocks back, but somehow she didn't pick up on that. So, Sunday morning it was wakey wakey at 6:30am. Rise and shine! I have already shared, I'm sure, that I am not a morning person, especially not a Sunday morning person, so she is lucky to be alive. Oh yeah, don't forget about World Peace! The day to blog for peace is the 7th. I posted mine early in case some of you don't know about the peace globe. Go get one and customize it for your blog. Here's a link http://mimilenox.blogspot.com/ Be good humans!

Because I Said So!

2007-11-01T08:42:00.000-04:00

Whenever I find myself unhappy at my job, I just remember what it was like to feel the way this person felt when they did this. Being your own boss is great!

Ready? Set? Winter!

2007-10-30T19:02:00.000-04:00

After living in California for 12 years, I'd forgotten all about all there is to do in the fall to prepare for winter's arrival. Life is so much simpler in Cali. I have had to spend every weekend for the last month, completing tasks so I come through it all without freezing, sliding down the driveway to my certain death, and so nothing I own is ruined by the cold, snow and ice! If you see beautiful pictures of New England in the fall, don't think how nice it would be to live here. Just contemplate visiting, perhaps in the fall, when you can enjoy the gorgeous foliage, and not spend days, raking or blowing it off your lawn and driveway. Not that I'm complaining, just adjusting uncomfortably.

Here is a list of ways I'd rather NOT spend my time:

Pay to have 2 cords of wood delivered.

Stack 2 cords of wood.

Blow the leaves out of my yard. Repeat.

Blow the leaves off of my very steep driveway. Repeat.

Station 4 large barrels up the sides of my driveway, and filling them with a sand and salt mixture.

Go to the town sandpile and shovel sand and salt into my truck to fill my barrels.

Clear a space in my basement that has inevidably been filled with something else, so I can take down my deck furniture and store it.

Take down my deck furniture to store it.

Clear my garage, which has become overflow for my workshop, so I can put my convertible away for the winter.

Put my convertible away for the winter. Also add a gas treatment.

Fill up my motorcycle (Lucille) with gas and add a gas treatment, so the gas doesn't turn into kerosene, while she sits for 5-6 months.

Take off Lucille's seat and put the battery tender on her for the winter.

Put the heater in the birdbath.

Shut off the water to the outside spigot and take in the hose.

Get the propane tanks filled.

Put away summer wardrobe to make room for bulky winter clothes.

Get bulky winter clothes out of storage.

Find snow shovels, ice scraper, car brushes etc.

Progress with Blackmail on the Side

2007-10-28T10:05:00.000-04:00

Some of progress at my parent's house.

Here are before pictures of the living room and dining room. The 3 rooms upstairs are still underway, but in the final stages. The radiators downstairs were removed, and replaced with baseboard heating. I pulled out the fireplace insert to provide a less efficient but far prettier fireplace. The outside of the house is brick, and there was no insulation, so we had foam insulation pumped in from the inside. This meant holes in the walls, and lots of them. One hole every 10-12 inches in a grid, on all outside walls. Once this one done, I filled the holes, then skim coated all the walls, before priming and painting them. I removed the cheesy looking casing at the top of the walls, and replaced it with a generous crown we had custom milled. The lime green molding in the paneling was pressed with a pattern, so all of that was removed, and replaced with a more appropriate molding for the house.

I think the dog (that's Michael) adds the most warmth to the room. So my Mom picked out a new runner for the stairs and hallway. The estimate for it came in at $2,900. She was really unhappy about that, because she loved the rug she'd found, but she knew that was just too high. She kept saying, it's okay, I'll find something else, but she sounded a little beaten. Finally my Dad said, "Okay, order the runner." I yelled out, I heard that. Mom was really happy, so the next day she called the rug place, and found out she was quoted on some ridiculous 45 foot continuous rug, 13 feet wide, that had to be cut down to 32" for the stairs! The actual rug she needed would only cost $1,100. She was thrilled.

The next day I asked, "How did Dad react when you told him he was saving $1800. on the rug?"

"I didn't tell him, and I'm not going to" she answered. "Now I can get my curtains too."

I laughed, thought a minute, and said, "Don't you mean now we can get our curtains?"

The Pharyngula Mutating Genre

2007-10-19T08:40:00.000-04:00

The Pharyngula Mutating Genre

Anon has tagged me for The Pharyngula mutating genre meme.There are a set of questions below that are all of the form:"The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…".Copy the questions, and before answering them, you may modify them in a limited way, carrying out no more than two of these operations: You can leave them exactly as is. You can delete any one question. You can mutate either the genre, medium, or subgenre of any one question. For instance, you could change "The best time travel novel in SF/Fantasy is…" to "The best time travel novel in Westerns is…", or "The best time travel movie in SF/Fantasy is...", or "The best romance novel in SF/Fantasy is...". You can add a completely new question of your choice to the end of the list, as long as it is still in the form "The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…". You must have at least one question in your set, or you've gone extinct, and you must be able to answer it yourself, or you're not viable.Then answer your possibly mutant set of questions. Please do include a link back to the blog you got them from, to simplify tracing the ancestry, and include these instructions.Finally, pass it along to any number of your fellow bloggers. Remember, though, your success as a Darwinian replicator is going to be measured by the propagation of your variants, which is going to be a function of both the interest your well-honed questions generate and the number of successful attempts at reproducing them.

My Ancestry:

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparent is Pharyngula.

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparent is Metamagician and the Hellfire Club.

My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparent is Flying Trilobite.

My great-great-great-great-great-grandparent is A Blog Around the Clock.

My great-great-great-great-grandparent is archy.

My great-great-great-grandparent is Why Now?

My great-great-grandparent is Hipparchia.

My great-grandfathers are Archaeopteryx and Kiefus.

My grandfather is Catnapping.

My Mom is BirdAnonymous

My version of the questions:

• The best silly movie in comedy is: Young Frankenstein.

• The worst earworm in pop music is: Short People, by Randy Newman.

• The best alt-country album in country music is: Wailin Jennys, 40 Days.

To keep the meme alive, I'm passing it along to:

Another Tangential Thinker

Terry's Timeout

Who really cares anyway

My Avatar

2007-10-15T17:06:00.000-04:00

Finally, Thanks to Ces, I am going to have an avatar. I couldn't figure out how to do this on my own, but Ces has made it seemingly simple. The first step of the Ces method is to publish the photo in a post. Since I don't have a painting of myself done by Ces, this is what I'd like to use, so here goes nothin!

Whale of a gift

2007-10-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

I am a woodworker, this is my creative outlet of choice. I love designing and building furniture, but I also love the little personal things, that are fun to create. Things like signs, jewelry boxes, bird houses, frames, etc. At Christmastime, I love to give things I've made, if I can manage the time. One year I had visited a woodworking gallery with my girlfriend's parents. They had a lot of beautiful things there. Karen, my partner's mother, had expressed an interest in the napkin rings shaped like animals. They were basically flat cut outs of animals with a hole bored into them to hold a napkin. She said, "I'd love some napkin rings of whales, and if someone were to make them for me, I would need eight". This seemed like a pretty direct hint to me. She and her husband Jim had recently purchased a home on a cliff overlooking the Ocean in Northern California. They had to finish it, and they did so with natural maple moldings with cherry pegs. Even the kitchen was all cherry pegged maple. I decided to make the whales out of maple, with cherry pegs for eyes. I started by joining some maple planks together, then cut them into blocks. I designed them so the hole would not be through the whale, but where his tail would curl around to hold the napkin. I bored a napkin ring sized hole through the block, sketched out the shape of the whale, and then my girlfriend Elizabeth (who sanded a ton, and was a big help) and I, removed all the material that was not part of the whale. After we were done carving, we sanded them smooth, then waxed them. It was fun to do, and even more fun to give!

Still Wet Behind the Ears

2007-10-02T23:38:00.000-04:00

This is me trying to figure out how to make a movie out of a series of pictures and add sound to it, the way Bird Anon does so well. I took these shots of some bluebirds through my mother's kitchen window last winter when they came out of their houses to eat some of the sumac we tied up in the tree.

I'm Famous?!

2007-09-27T20:13:00.000-04:00

Susan Norfleet http://youtube.com/watch?v=3nnOqVgTsXY is an extremely intelligent, sharp witted, articulate comedian. I had been reading Susan's blog "Fairy Lady" regularly. Then she began writing for another blog I read often called "Queersighted" This is an AOL sponsored link from the AIM homepage. Yesterday I read Susan's post Christian "Think" Tank: Isn't That Special As always she made me laugh and laugh. She is brilliant! I left a comment, and she responded with a question. I responded back, and today I am featured prominently in her post A Side of Pride Fries With That Please. If you'd like to go check out my handiwork here's the link http://www.queersighted.com/?icid=one_click.M I am very excited about it!

A Glorious Fall Day

2007-09-25T21:15:00.001-04:00

Today was a GOOD day. I am working in Westfield these days in my parent's new house. They have down sized and the house is well built, but very poorly decorated. I have been stripping wallpaper, washing and skimming walls. Removing casing at the top of walls meant to look like crown molding, sanding and taping woodwork in preparation for paint. Every inch will need to be painted. My mother (an interior designer) dislikes all the colors and finishes. I agree of course!

During a break, I decided to call that Indian mechanic, I got the number for the other day. He was friendly and knowledgeable. He told me that the oil leaking from Lucille was normal given the time she sat, so I can ride her. I was very happy.

I worked a while longer and decided since the universe was smiling on me today, I might call this woman I met back in February and ask her out. I have seen her on several occasions since we first met, but was never sure whether she was single or not. I've been trying to find out, but have been unsuccessful. The thought of rejection has frozen me for quite some time, but recently I saw a movie called "Train Man: Densha Otoko" It was a wonderful story about a socially inept computer geek who meets a woman on a train, and with the help of his Internet community asks her out and actually goes on a date with her, and then another, etc. If you don't mind subtitles, I highly recommend it! Not that I am in any way a socially inept computer geek, but his network of friends did remind me of this blogging community. Anyway, that also helped give me the courage to call and ask, and now we have a date. This may not seem like a big deal, but I have been so busy trying to get my business going, I haven't been on a date in nearly two years! :0

I feel optimistic, possibilities abound. This is the good stuff.

Service or Lip Service?

2007-09-22T09:06:00.000-04:00

Thursday was a beautiful day here, and I know there aren't many of those left this year, so I thought I'd blow the dust off my Indian. All my tools and materials are already at the job site, so I could travel light. It's been a while since I to took Lucille for a ride, so I had her on the charger. I attempted to start her up, but I forgot the choke for the first few attempts, and by the time I remembered it was too late. I put her back on the charger, and decided to try again tomorrow. Then I glanced down at the floor and saw a puddle of oil forming. Oh crap! This is how she treats me when I don't take her out. Lucille hates to just sit. I haven't had any work done since I moved here from California, so I have not located a mechanic yet. This can be difficult, as they don't make Indians anymore, so there are no dealerships.

Indian was the first American motorcycle manufactured in 1901 in Springfield, MA They built bikes for the war, they built bikes for the police, and in 1953 shut down. In 1998, they reappeared, now built in Gilroy California until 2003 when they shut back down. Mine is a 2000.

I decided to stop at the nearby Harley Davidson shop to see if anyone in their service dept. was familiar with Indian. I waited quite a while at the service desk when finally one of the mechanics arrived, and asked if he could help me.

"I hope so, I'm wondering if anyone here knows their way around an Indian." I said almost pleadingly.

"Is it a REAL Indian, or a California Indian?" He snorted.

I was taken aback slightly, and all I could think was, what are the chances that I would come to a Harley dealership to have a 1953 or older collector's item worked on? So after a pause, I said, "You're kind of a jerk aren't you? I come in here asking for help, and you insult me. That must be good for business."

Now he was taken slightly aback, probably because he didn't expect a woman to stand up for herself. "I'll go ask" he said. Which left me wondering, was he going to ask if he's a jerk, or whether anyone can fix my bike? When he disappeared another woman who was in service waiting area, approached me and told me she knew a guy who works on Indians. She wrote down his name and number for me, and I thanked her very much, and left.

As a business owner, I am always appalled at this kind of treatment, and it leaves me with a very negative feeling for the whole shop, and a little tainted toward Harley Davidson, all because of one rude, disrespectful dolt!

I Don't Do Closets

2007-09-13T15:56:00.000-04:00

Closet: A place to keep clothes, coats, linens or other household items.

Example: I would like to hang my coat in the closet but it's allergic to hangers :(

Closet: The place we keep our skeletons (family secrets).

Example: We know Great Uncle Melvin wore sweet frilly dresses, but are there any other skeletons in the closet?

Closet: The only thing required in a room to make it qualify as a bedroom, in a real estate listing.

Example: You could get more money for your house if you listed it as a three bedroom. All you have to do is put a closet in your pantry.

Closet: The imaginary hiding place of homosexuals who think people don't already know, or possibly even suspect the truth, until they are ready to be open and confirm every one's suspicions after all.

Example: I'm afraid if I come out of the closet, my Dad will demand a paternity test.

I don't do closets is what I wish I'd said when I took the job I am currently doing. I was hired to paint the inside of 5 closets in a recently purchased home. The walls of the home are plaster, and are in pretty rough shape. The homeowner, my client, hired someone to drywall the closets prior to my painting them, all in preparation for a closet system company to come in and install closet systems in all 5. Seems simple enough. Except for one thing. The closet systems company came out and measured the closets based on the size of the floor, so the homeowner told the sheet rocker not to take off the baseboards, just drywall down to them. Then she proceeded to hire the worst drywall guy EVER! He left huge gaps between the drywall and the baseboards, in the corners, at the top. His joints bow way out giving the wall a pregnant quality. His tape was all bunched up, bubbled up, or not attached at all. Sandpaper never touched any of it. The mud was hanging on the walls like large gloppy clumps of schmutz he had applied with a horse hoof.

Have you ever stood inside a closet on a step stool sanding large amounts of joint compound and breathing in the dust for hours on end? When the dust gets into your nostrils, the moisture creates a wonderfully sticky joint compound in your nose. I imagine this is happening in my lungs as well, and can feel it in my throat. Yes, yes, I should wear a mask you say. I find when I wear one, I still breathe in tons of dust, but also sweat myself into dehydration. I tried sanding the closet while my head was on the outside, but that proved cumbersome, I couldn't see what I was doing, and my arms were about 5 feet too short. On the first day, I used 30 lbs of joint compound trying to fill the gaps and smooth out the mess. This all took a very long time and when I was finally leaving, my client's mother, who's been letting me into the house asked what time I'd be back for the next day of work. I answered, "9:00." "Can you be here at 8:00?" she asked. "Sure, if I spend the night here." I quipped. Not a morning person. "Yes, I can be here at 8:00, see you then."

Is this entertaining at all? I can continue, and tell you about today tomorrow, if you like.

Amazing Women!

2007-09-09T14:22:00.000-04:00

I have had the pleasure of working for an organization over the past few months that runs various homes/shelters, and provides housing for people in need. The staff that makes these wheels turn successfully against extremely difficult conditions, are some of the most giving, caring, selfless, and gracious human beings on the planet. I am in awe of the women who are at the hub of this organization. I have seen such dedication, passion, and out and out hustle from these women all for a very large and diverse group of less fortunate people. It is not the gratitude that feeds them, for there is very little, if any. It is hard for someone like me to comprehend. I love the satisfaction of looking at the result of my handiwork. I thrive on the appreciation of those I work for. This is my greed. These women as near as I can tell have none of that. They derive satisfaction from the knowledge they are helping others, and making the world a better place, in small almost undetectable steps. Although I love my labor, theirs truly is a labor of love.