Thanksgiving Day with the fam. My Mother always makes a fabulous Thanksgiving meal. I'm usually there in the kitchen with her all day helping to get everything done. Food preparation is and always has been an art for her. She puts all kinds of work and special care into producing a gorgeous dinner with everyone's favorites, and trust me, it's a mamoth undertaking. When my family gets together, it's like a photo shoot for disfunctinality. My older sister won't be there, never is, hasn't participated in being part of the family for some 15 years now. My step-brother comes because his mother is not a good cook. He usually regales us with some biggoted story about the customers at the Stop & Shop where he is the produce manager. He is not amusing, and I have found there is no amount I can drink to make him funny. My younger sister, who was blessed with a very quick but also mean spirited wit, shows up just in time for food, and waits for the opportunity to strike. It always comes, and she makes the first cut. Usually the turkey is still being sliced when this occurs. No one in my family is ill-epuiped to respond to this kind of attack, so there will be a counter, sometimes sharper than the first. Sometimes that will stave off the attack temporarily, but she waits, like a snake in the grass. Often things will escalate until my Mother who has worked so hard, gets upset because we have ruined another perfectly good holiday get together. Sometimes when we're lucky, things can be contained, and no one is mortally wounded. When this happens, we are all very pleased that we made it through a holiday with the fam. (whew)
12 comments:
Oi, my heart aches for your poor mum. Cannot you do something about this?
Well, I try. Last time I pulled my sister aside in the beginning and tried to get her to go easy. I said, "Let's all try to be kind to one another today, so Mom can enjoy Mother's Day." That seemed to work, but it was Mother's Day. I'm not sure if I can accomplish the same feat at Thanksgiving, but I will try to keep the peace.
WOW. Sounds like you found the right cartoon for your holiday with the fam. Sorry it is like that. I also have huge family gatherings, but always loving and wonderful ones. I used to stuff the turkey every Thanksgiving morning with my Mom - but she's been gone 5 years now and my heart still hurts. I hope you manage to have a nice Thanksgiving with your Mom despite the disfunction around you.
Sounds like my extended family get-togethers! Maybe we should stuff our Sisters in a turkey? HAHA I don't know why, what or when 'Thanksgiving' is but glad we don't have it here - there are enough family get-togethers to get through than adding another one!
tsduff, I am trying to enjoy all of the time I have left with my Mother. We are very close. It's not that we don't all love each other, we just don't know how act that way. It's always been like that with us. If you like someone you pick on them, if you're polite to someone all the time, you haven't really taken a shine to them yet. I used to think that was normal, until I got away from my family, and noticed how others acted towards friends and loved ones.
Anon, Sounds like you'll spend Thanksgiving giving thanks that you don't have it! Cheers!
I love Thanksgiving. I think it's a great holiday. Hmn, I am all confused. It sounds like your sister is really hungry.
Ces, I think you misinterpreted the story. When I said my sister goes on the attack, I wasn't talking about the turkey, I was talking about us, her loving and supportive family. Once the insults start to fly, watch out! My poor brother usually gets the brunt of it, he is the weakest link. ;)
Oh well, I lost some of my brain cells last weekend. That is not very nice. I hope your Thanksgiving celebration is more enjoyable this year. In the past I used to get get stressed out because of too many preparation chores, Now I just want to take my time. Nobody is going anywhere so why hurry? I love setting the table. I hate cleaning up. I love the pies and desserts and we prepare a dish from our heritage (Filipino, Spanish, English, Germann, Norwegian).
No wonder your older sister excuses herself.
You can't do anything about stepbrother except perhaps comment that you don't share his prejudices, but little sister sounds incredibly angry and spiteful.
It sounds like a situation that your mother should have tried to remedy long ago, but was afraid of alienating another of her children.
It must be hard to enjoy good food while dodging bottle rockets.
Ces, I hate cleaning up too.
heartinsanfrancisco, You see it clearly except the older sister thing, it's not because she's sooo healthy and doesn't choose to spend holidays with us. She hates tradition, is meaner than a rattlesnake, and is punishing my mother for stuff my father did to her when she was a child. This is a whole big nasty can of worms I'd rather not open here.
I didn't mean to imply that your older sister was healthier than the rest of your family.
She chooses to punish by her absence while your other sister does it in person.
I think that wherever there is family, there's a big can of worms trying to burst open.
I hope this year will be better.
Heartinsanfrancisco, I didn't mean to imply that you meant to imply that my older sister was somehow less messed up than the rest of us! :)
Thanks for your well wishes.
No canned worms for Thanksgiving!
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