Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ch ch changes...

I have received this notice to cease and desist blogging about snow, and my frickin driveway, so NO MORE! I know you guys want to hear a new set of complaints, and more whining week after week but I'm sorry! I just can't do it anymore. You'll be fine, I'll find other ways to keep you entertained.

For instance, I've been doing a lot of driving lately and the potholes are absolutely everywhere. It's all you can do to miss them and invariably when there's a completely horrific stretch of them, there's also an oncoming vehicle that forces you to go over them instead of around them. I mean how is it possible that you could drive along for 10 minutes without another car in sight, but somehow one appears just as you reach pot-hole-polusa!

It's just like when you're trapped behind someone who apparently doesn't have anywhere to be at any specific time, and is just out sightseeing, and enjoying the fresh air, while you are late for an important appointment. As you go through the center of small towns and wind around on curvy roads, not another car in sight, besides the forty backed up behind you that is, but as soon as a straightaway arrives, and some passing lines, cars and trucks the whole way, it baffles me.

I love the guy that pulls up next to me at a light, and drives like a bat out of hell to get in front of me when the light turns, only to hold me and everyone else up two blocks later when he wants to make a left turn.

I'm also very fond of the people who, even though they drive a Chevy Speck, just can't seem to handle the turning radius of a left turn and have to swing wide right to manage it. Things like this should be on the driving test. That idiotic little move should be an automatic failure, that and the inability to merge. Some people just don't get it! If you are going 50 or 55 on the entrance ramp, it is much easier to fit seamlessly into traffic, then if you are going 15 or 10, or 6, or 2, or stop completely to wait until there are no cars as far as the eye can see! Why people, Why?

In Massachusetts I've noticed that stop signs are merely suggestions. People here roll right through them like they're all yields. It's crazy! I suppose if they got stopped, they'd say "I slowed down." Which reminds me of a joke.

It seems this guy from Massachusetts goes to California, and rents a car. While he there, he gets pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. When this is explained to him by the officer, he whines, "But officer, I slowed down."

The officer pulls him out of the car, throws him down and begins brutally wailing on him with his knight-stick. The man cries out, begging him to stop, but the beating continues, the man pleads for him to stop, and the officer says, "But I slowed down."


Anonymous said...

HAAHHAHHAAAA, I was just imagining sitting in a darkened room filled with smoke and the clink of glasses hitting tables - a spotlight on a stage and YOU in it! *applause*

RED MOJO said...

Thanks anon, at least you wrote "applause" at the end, and not "crickets"! I hope it's not a club in Massachusetts!

citizen of the world said...

I'm not sure potholes are a substantial leap from snow and your driveway, but I had no issue with the snow posts to begin with. The drivers who bug me (or, I should say, one set of the many drivers who bug me) are the ones who sit in the turning lane contmeplating the green light ahead of them until it turns red, then they shoot through the intersection, leaving me fuming at the red light.

RED MOJO said...

citizen, well, I'm not much of a leaper. This is a gradual change.:)
You mean there is no oncoming traffic, but they don't turn until light changes? That would be maddening.

kj said...

i'm delighted you made anon laugh, rm!

there's no potholes in spring, nor stupid drivers. i'm telling my eyes it's time to scope out the starfish and miss the seaweed. that is, when the damn snow decides to leave.

i'm buying seeds today. it's an act of defiance.


Debra Kay said...

Start some seeds in your windowsill KJ. Better use a pot though.

Red, let your laughter echo across the snow till it cracks.

charlotta-love said...

I say blog about whatever you want. When people give me suggestions, I say, "That sounds great to do with your blog."
"but I don't have a blog."
"Exactly...go start one."

RED MOJO said...

kj, I'm glad I made someone laugh too, as that is usually my goal! Yay seeds!

debra kay, no more cracks about snow!

charlotta-love, I do. I imposed my own ban, because I was so sick of hearing myself complain about it, I could only imagine how others must feel.

kj said...

come on, rm, more snow tonight and all day tomorrow. where will we put it besides in my basement? and how will i maintain my positive attitude?

and then again, how will you handle that expansive driveway of yours without (fill in the blank)


VE said...

I like that Chevy Speck. How many batteries do you have to put into the remote control unit?

tsduff said...

Whar? Massachusettes folks actually had "California" stops too? tee hee! All you did with your frustration about snow was make SOME of us feel mucho guilty, living out in the sunnier climes... :)

Slip said...

Try driving my dump truck loaded pulling a trailer with a piece of equipment on it. People have to pull out in front of me and then crawl.

You may choose to bury the S...word

but the S...word will still bury you

RED MOJO said...

kj, Indeed where, and how!

VE, I think it runs on fumes from surrounding vehicles.

tsduff, No, you don't get it. These people don't slow way to an almost stop, they go right the f*** through like it's not even there!

slip, I noticed when I drove a large moving truck packed to the gills, that people like to pull out right in front of you and dare you not to kill them. It's like they missed the day we learned about inertia.

I am buried right now.

Debra Kay said...

Red, come see my puppy, come see my puppy!

citizen of the world said...

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. And it is infuriating. Goombahs.