I thought I'd put up a few things I think about when I can't sleep at night, or while I'm stuck driving behind an old man in a hat, with his hands at 10 and 2 o'clock, and no particular place to go.
5. Do people think that pushing the elevator call button a crap-load of times will scare the elevator into thinking there's an angry mob waiting, so it'll work faster?
6. With ALL that money, can't Donald Trump do something better with his hair?
7. When I go up or down a flight of stairs, I can't remember why I did it, and have to return to the floor I came from to figure it out, then start again. If I lived in a ranch, would my memory improve, and my pants size go up?
8. Is it considered a plus or a minus to have a cup-holder as standard equipment?
9. If men were the ones who got pregnant, RU486 (the morning after pill) would be at the register right next to the tic-tacs.
10. When a complete stranger tells me to "smile" It makes me want to sink a crowbar into his skull, set him fire and push him off a bridge into a wood-chipper.
11. What if the dog that I rescued from an abusive pet-owner, was an abusive pet-owner himself in his last life, and was reincarnated as an abused dog to pay his penance, which I interrupted, so now he'll have to come back and do the whole abused dog thing all over again in his next life?
12. Toilets that flush automatically, sometimes while you're still on them, should all be torn out and shipped to a country where they currently just have a hole in the ground to squat over, because they are moderately better than that!
13. If blogging is wrong, I don't wanna be right!