Time Goes By, So...

Well, it depends. Time can fly, and it seems to go faster each year as I get older. My theory on this is, that the less of a percentage a year is in your life, the quicker it goes by. Think about it, and get back to me. Anyway, when I'm waiting for something...time drags. It is slower than molasses in the wintertime. When I have a ton of stuff to do, if goes by faster than a barefoot rabbit on greased griddle in the middle of August!

Right now, I find myself in the unique position of having a pant-load of things to finish by a quickly approaching deadline, while at the same time, corresponding with someone new and exciting that may become a headliner in what has become the tragic story of my life. Now, in some incredibly bazaar way, time seems to be crawling and flying at the same time. Impossible you say! People said time travel was impossible, and look at us now! Okay, bad example, but seriously...How many times have you been in the shower, and completely lost track of time? You just have no idea whether you've been in there ten minutes, or thirty five. That's when it happens, time is added or taken away depending upon the opposite of whether you need more or less. The French thought they had solved this problem by simply cutting showers, and baths out of their daily, or weekly routines, but it didn't help, it just made them foul smelling. The truth is anytime you experience this "lost track of time" feeling, is when the adjustments are being made. In my case time is being added and taken away because I'm both waiting for something, and up against it, to complete some projects.

Studies have shown that 75% of all water related activities are time altering. A watched pot never boils, never...experts agree that that is dramatically slower than normal.

Time, or the passing of it, has also been linked to aging in three separate university double blind studies. This study was conducted by the blind, because no one really wants to see the effects of aging, and they also wore blind-folds to ensure that any sudden regaining of their eyesight would not influence the results. This is the most reliable way to collect data. The findings have been conclusive, time is a relentless son of a bitch, and you shouldn't be wasting reading drivel like this!

Is this actually true? Only time will tell.

Actual Things...

Something Odd: I used the word unbefreakinglievable in an email today, and spellcheck didn't bat an eye!

However if you get a tattoo, make sure your tattoo artist uses spellcheck, or people may get the wrong idea.

Something Depressing:

I read in the paper yesterday, that an elderly man in a retirement home was stabbed to death as a result of a dispute over a loaf of white bread.

Something Silly:

I had no idea how much work went into seedless watermelons!

Something True:

I really enjoy blogging, sometimes too much, and I know the reason for this is all the bloggers who visit my blog regularly, and who I like to visit as well. My life is richer becasue of it.

>

Wieneke would be here if she had an avatar!

Being Grateful

mom

One of my closest friends lost her father on the day before Easter. This seems to be happening more and more around me. I am at the age where time with my parents has become something I am grateful for. I still have mine, this set at least. My father died when I was thirteen, but the new one mom picked out has weathered the storms of our adolescence, getting licenses, borrowing the car, going away to college, bringing home women...well, I did, my brother...not so much, and then some.

My mom still won't tell me who my mother was before her. She insists she's the only mother I've ever had, but I'm not completely convinced yet.

I was away from my family for twenty five years. I visited of course, but didn't live nearby. Seeing them only a few times a year was good in ways, and probably best at times, but now I'm here, and I see them several times a week. At the moment I'm remodeling (building a kitchen in a room that was the sun porch a few months ago) her kitchen, so I see her almost everyday. I love my mom, but there is a limit to how many heaping helpings of mom I can take in given time period. We are exceeding that currently.

The news of this recent death, brings into sharp focus the fact that I should be enjoying this time with my mother, and this project we are doing together. We are making the memories I will be keeping with me when she has gone. Sometimes we need to get a dose of the bad, to realize we are actually in the good part.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The Easter Bunny!

My life in 6 words

I have been tagged by Citizen of the World to describe my life in six words. This is a tough one for me, I've lived in more than six different states. But when I get tagged, I respond to the challenge.

Come to think of it, I love a challenge, and that is how I've lived my life. I have never let my gender limit my career choices. I can't say I have never been afraid to go for it, but I will say I have never let fear stop me from going for it.

I have made some bad decisions, but at least I don't have to regret not trying.

When I know what I want, I fight for it, it's being clear on what I want that seems to be the difficult part.

Anyway, sweetened and condensed, these six words sum it all up, probably:

Reaching, risking, growing, following my heart.

I'm not going to tag anyone, that would be mean, but I'd like to hear how kj and heartinsanfrancisco would sum themselves up. If you choose not to do accept this tag, that's okay, I will happily choose 6 words for you myself, just kidding. I know this one will be fun for you. Run along and get to work.

Dad Goes To Bat

photo from raisingeli.com

My stepfather married my mother when I was eleven. He's been a part of our family for over thirty years now, and I call him Dad.

When I was entering my freshman year in high school, I was hit squarely in the face by a gender injustice, the first one since I'd wanted to play little league baseball. It seems that when everyone chose their electives for that year, a lot more students chose to take Industrial Arts than Home Economics. Well, the school decided since they couldn't give everyone what they'd asked for, they'd just assign the boys to I.A. and the girls to Home Ec. I was furious. I went home that day and told my parents what had happened.

The next day my dad was in the principals office. He said, "Why on earth would you put the boys in IA and the girls in Home Ec.?" The principal explained that that was the way things used to be, so they decided to just do that again to solve the over crowding issue.

dad: "If you have too many students in an English class what do you do?" "Throw out the girls?"

principal: "Well, that's not the same thing."

dad: "What's different about it?"

principal: "Boy's are more naturally inclined to IA, and girls to Home Ec."

dad: "Oh really. My daughter shingled the entire roof of our house last summer, by herself, cedar shakes on a gambrel roof! Show me one boy more qualified to take that class."

After dad's visit, they changed the resolution. Now every student had to take half a year of each class. Go dad!

Recently he said something else that made me really proud. He said his receptionist had advertised for a roommate because the price of heating oil was killing her.

Suzanne: I found a roommate!

dad: that's great, how much are you getting?

Suzanne: I'm getting $525.00

dad: Do you think that's enough?

Suzanne: Oh yeah, it's fine. I might have a problem though?

dad: What's that?

Suzanne: I think she's gay.

dad: Well.. Are you gay?

Suzanne: No

dad: Then you've got nothing to worry about.

That's my dad. He rocks!

It's Your Lucky Day!

It's a beautiful sunny morning here, or "top o the mornin tooya". I know that's the wrong "to" but it's better phonetically. Why are you worried about my grammar anyway? It's St. Patrick's Day. Go do something green! I have some Irish in me, about 15%. I find most people do, especially on St. Patrick's Day! The Irish are a busy lot! What percentage are you?

Meme Challenge Issued & Answered

"I dare you to be as ridiculous" from VE.

*******************************Disclaimer***********************************

This meme is answered in a completely fictional manner in order to meet the challenge issued forth by VE. Please do not write angry letters or comments about how mean it is to sabotage a diet, or cruelty to hunters etc.

Warning: Reading the following post may lower your opinion of me if there is any room for movement in that direction.

All Fours

Four Guilty Pleasures-

I like to catch mice in those glue traps, then use solvent to free three of their feet, and tickle them until they promise to stay outside.

I like to hide in the bushes with a semi-automatic rifle during deer season and when they shoot at a deer, I return fire. It makes it more like a sport.

I like to stop at toll booths and pay by check, which takes a couple hours, just to see how big a back-up I can cause, leaving my left turn signal on the entire time of course.

When someone at work says they're on a diet, I like to show up with a couple dozen warm Krispy Kreme Doughnuts the next day.

Four Favorite Foods

Tofurky Jerky,

Brussel sprout cheesecake,

Pickled banana chips,

Jalapeno mint jelly and goat cheese pizza.

Four things that make me smile

When I try to make my ears move,

when I'm brushing my top teeth,

When I practice my reaction to winning the lottery

When I can successfully string together the nine-word-sequence for my favorite coffee drink at Starbucks without taking a breath in the middle.

Four Artists I’m listening to Right Now-

Anytime I try to listen to four different things at the same time, it always turns out the same way; with me trying to figure out the child safety cap on my Advil bottle.

*********************************************************************************

Random Questions:

How would you describe yourself?

Honestly deceptive, forward thinking historian, with a stand-offish approachability. Attractively plain, passionately even tempered, skeptically optimistic, interesting, vanilla, woman who's energetic about taking naps. My stubborn flexibility, and logically emotional reasoning powers make me singularly popular.

What is your life’s purpose?

To completely eliminate and get rid of redundancy. I will establish the Department of Redundancy Department, and begin to issue fines, give tickets, charge people money for, saying or doing, any action or words that would be considered redundant, and if they do it again, that's twice the fine, doubling the amount.

What do your friends think of you?

What are these...friends, you speak of?

What do you think about very often?

Why I keep forgetting to take the pill that's supposed to improve my memory.

What is your wedding day going to be like?

Lots of shocked people wandering around, most of all, me!

What is your life story?

My life story is "I'm Okay, You're Okay" It's a self-help book. My motto is if you need help, help yourself!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kept. I would like to fritter away my time on the computer...while someone else worries about responsibilities, and obligations. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, I don't wish to grow up.

What will they play at your funeral?

"My Way" by Sinatra

And now, the end is near, And so I face the final curtain. My friends, I'll say it clear; I'll state my case of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full - I've travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Regrets? I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do And saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course - Each careful step along the byway, And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, When I bit off more than I could chew, But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall And did it my way. I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill - my share of losing. But now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that, And may I say, not in a shy way - Oh no. Oh no, not me. I did it my way. For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself - Then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows And did it my way. Yes, it was my way.

What is your hobby/interest?

Mostly, I enjoy letting my dogs in and out of the house. They have worked out a system that insures them the highest allotment of cookies possible. It goes something like this. One dog asks to go outside, the other insists he does not need to go out right now, and he'd better stay in the house with me, it's for my own safety of course. I let the dog in, give them both cookies, and about 5-10 minutes later, the second dog, now has to go outside. You see how they have outsmarted me? I spend more time enjoying this activity then anything else really.

I also love shopping for brightly colored pot-holders on EBay, and plan to make a cozy for my house out of them, once I have enough.

Thank you for tolerating my meme. If you should choose to tag yourself with either of these, please let me know. I apologize for any permanent damage caused here today.

The Best of the Worst!

Here's a little poll for you. Assuming you MUST pick one of the choices, please do your best, I didn't make it easy!

Ah, but I made you picture them all didn't I? Sorry about that!

Not Right Now, I'm busy?

I have thought about posting, really. I just can't squeeze anything out of my jam-packed head right now. The break down is something like this. Once I free up a few cells, I'll be back!

If You Are What You Eat, I'm Glue!

I've been spending a lot of time out in my workshop lately. I love that. It's one of my favorite places to be, although yesterday,

*Digression Alert!*

for some unknown reason my Bose sound-dock stopped working, so no music. Booo! Coincidentally yesterday the ipod in my truck stopped working too. I have one I just leave in the truck. It stays in the glove box and it's wired into the stereo. I use my other ipod for out in the workshop, when I'm rowing, or painting or shoveling, or any other activity that's more fun with music. Anyhoo, just two days ago, my house phone, a Panasonic wireless, I just bought a year ago stopped working too! I've got my fingers crossed that the hot water heater, or furnace, or washing machine, or truck don't decide to jump on the bandwagon.

Anyway, as I was saying I've been working on building some stuff. I have several projects in various stages of completion out there. I was putting together some large raised panel shutters and typically what I do, is take all the pieces and assemble it first with no glue, just to make sure it all fits and is going to work. I get all the clamps I'm going to need, a rubber mallet, the glue, a brush, some water and a rag. Once you apply the glue you have to move at a pretty good clip to get it all together and clamped up. The really big gangley pieces with lots of parts that all have to be glued at the same time, can be challenging, especially for one person. I was dipping the brush into the glue bottle and spreading it on all the edges that needed glue, and when it came time to put it together again, I was having trouble. I needed to put the brush down and free up my hand, but there was nowhere to put it, so I put in my mouth. Not the end with the glue, but the middle of the brush handle, like when you put a rose in your teeth. You know how you like to do that. Well, I had been dipping that brush so far into the glue bottle that the part of the handle now in my mouth was covered with glue! That'll keep my big mouth shut! But I can still type.

That was nasty. I was never one of those paste-eaters in elementary school, and I know now that I wasn't missing anything. The funny part is I really had to get the dumb thing clamped up. I spit the brush out on the floor, but my mouth felt full of glue and it seemed like it was bonding to my teeth. It was really disturbing. Once I got the thing clamped I rinsed out my mouth and there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage, but I don't recommend it just the same.

The shutters came out great, the customer was very happy with them, as was I. I'll take a picture once I install them. She's painting them herself to save a little money, then I'll go back to hang them for her.

After leaving her, I went to another job I'm working on and hung some sheet rock. I also did quite a bit of housework today. I feel pretty productive all in all, but I have been working all day, and never got to do any rowing. I don't like that, but I'll be on it in the morning. I think the slightly warmer weather, along with the sunny day, has really given my energy a boost. It feels good.