Thursday, January 17, 2008

Meet Bug

Bug, as I call him, after the verb to bug, is a little Lhasa Apso. His real name is McDuffy, named so by my mother who insists he looks Scottish. My parents are on a two week long vacation in a warmer clime, while I care for the bug, and look after their house etc. My brother has Michael, the well behaved dog that everyone loves. I get stuck with this stubborn, selfish, needy pain in the butt. Yes, he's cute, but despicable. Last night he woke me up at 2am to go outside. My parents do not get up in the middle of the night to let him out, believe me. It took me two of the longest tossing and turning hours ever, to get back to sleep. He cries a lot, about everything, whine whine whine, it's enough to make my head pop right off my body. I love dogs, but this thing...My dogs get aggravated with him because he thinks he's the alpha. A 14 pound dust mop the alpha over a 90 pound Newfie mix, Paaaleeeease! My dogs are having none of it.

He tries to steal the other dog's cookies, he takes their woobies, and earlier, I caught him cheating at cards! When he wants to go outside, he bites and tugs on your pant leg. When you call him, he won't come. Once you give up, and shut the door, there he is. If you need to borrow five bucks, he wants to know if you can break a fifty. He likes to be picked up, he stands there on his back legs and paws at the air with his front paws at you until you do it. Once he's in your lap, he begins encroaching on whatever you're trying to do, he'll just take r

Don't believe her, she is making it all up, except the part about my being cute! I am the smartest and best little doggie ever! These other loser dogs can't even type over 30 words a minute. I mean WTF? right? Hey, what was that? Did you hear something? No! Don't put me down, I'm not done...

As I was saying, my parents can't get back and collect their evil little Muppet soon enough!

14 comments:

kj said...

rm, you write a mean story!!! (this is a compliment). too too funny. there has to be a business on the side if fifty dollar bills are involved--maybe dust buster rentals?

hope you are well.

:)

Anonymous said...

HAH! I thought you were telling fibs Red Mojo, then THE BUG revealed ALL! Cheating at cards, wants to know if you can break a fifty, you wanting to rid the evil muppet soon - I think you've been smoking a funny cigar!

Wieneke said...

Oh my, a Lhasa Apso with a jacket, hahaha... I am laughing my head off, RM. Thanks! I needed that. Give this very brave and intelligent looking 'Scottish' dog a cookie on my behalf and of course also his companions, who suffer so very much, and take one yourself too :-)))

RED MOJO said...

kj, perhaps I could hire him out to clean floors...

anon, tell fibs! me?

wieneke, I do plan to have a cookie, it's soaking in rum at the moment.

tsduff said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Now make like a bug and skitter off her lap!! And eat a few of those er... special cookies she's got for you. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boo7 said...

LOL oh my goodness but he looks so cute with his lil red tartan coat!! Go ooooon admit it.....you love the lil feller!!

How are the rum soaked cookies going down??

Ces said...

My Mother had five of these dogs and they were all spoiled little bugs but they could bark. You are right about them being dust mops. You are too funny.

Debra Kay said...

Spray him up with endust and put him to work!

Little dogs respond well if you treat them just like big dogs-they ARE dogs, even cute ones like Bug. But, if Bug has fifty dollar bills, he's welcome to come hang out with me and my pack.

TheWeyrd1 said...

snicker

RED MOJO said...

tsduff, I wish I'd thought of giving those cookies to him. I ate 'em all and then there were two of him.

boo7, I do love him, but he's still a little rascal!

Ces, I started this with mine back in 1986. A little blonde mop named Hamlet. My mom fell in love with the breed, and this is her second.

debra kay, Clearly you have no idea what I'm dealing with here. It has nothing to do with how I treat him. Thanks for trying to help though.

theweyyrd1, I can hear you!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

He's cute, but I also prefer big dogs. I once had a Bouvier, a gray wolf and a Westie, who thought she was the Alpha canine even though she could have been lunch.

If he's cheating at cards and stealing woobies, it's time to put your foot down. Hard. Stealing woobies is serious, man.

CS said...

Wow, that's a, um, er, smallish dog. Cat-sized, in fact. Are you sure it's not a cat? Because they can be pretty bossy and temperamental.

(And what the hell's a woobie?)

Miladysa said...

Roflma!

"evil little Muppet"

Looks as though butter wouldn't melt to me....

RED MOJO said...

heartinsanfran, Yes, the woobie thing is crazy, but my big sweet dogs just let him take it away and don't do anything. Thank god!

cs, a woobie is just a generic term for a dog's stuffed toy, some of them have squeakers inside, but Cody immediately performs surgery and no only punctures, but removes the squeaky.

miladysa, Indeed! Thanks for stopping by, I see you over at Anon's birds all the time.